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Hi,

My name is Patricia. I have fought full life with my second soul. When I was teen, I did know that I am girl inside my body. I didnt play with boys, with cars, so nor boys playgrounds. I knew it that I am girl. But my parents always said that "you are not girl, you are boy". I was many years upset from my parents. But I decided one year ago that I will start HRT transition and now ? Now is result so that I have beautiful woman body and I am very happy , my voice is so soft and one problem is so that I have little Money for new life. It is not simple so for ts girl as me. But I still fight and I dont give up. I thank for Goddess from heaven, she helps me and she stands near me every day and every moment of my life. It so sad that many ts people in my country are very non friendly. It is so hard to meet someone similiar MTF as me. I would like meet new people with similiar problems and friends for friendships

Have a nice day

Patricia

Portrayal of Trans People in Films and Television

It is perhaps not that difficult to recall films or television series where transgender characters are used as caricatures for providing certain comic relief and for aiding the development of other characters. This rather objectionable use of trans characters in a derogatory and inhumane way unfortunately still persists in mainstream media and the entertainment industry. There is definitely a greater degree of check on it now though because of increased awareness on trans issues.

Hollywood has a history of a rather problematic portrayal of transgender characters. The first film which comes to mind is Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Psycho’ that creates the stereotype of the mentally disturbed cross-dressed murderer. Subsequently, the portrayal of a transgender person as a psychopath murderer persists in many mainstream media representations.

But things have begun to change for good now. And one can find quite a few positive, nuanced and non-stereotypical portrayals of transgender people in cinema and tv series. What instantly comes to mind is the amazing TV series ‘Pose’ that tries to portray the ‘drag ball’ culture of New York of the 1980s. The specialty of this TV series is that it’s been produced by a transgender activist and also stars transgender actors. The music for the series has also been composed by a trans musician.

Then, there is the hugely famous ‘Transparent’ TV series that delved into the life of a Los Angeles family who discovered that their parent is a transgender woman named Maura. The first season was premiered in 2014. Owing to its great success, subsequent seasons were launched as well. The series was great in some ways but the controversial aspect was the casting of Jeffrey Tambor as the main character Maura. Allegations of sexual harassment were made against him by the transgender cast and crew members of the series.

In cinema, there is the brilliant movie ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ that is based on the real-life story of Brandon Teena, a transgender man from the US who undertakes a quest to find love in Nebraska but things take an ugly, unexpected turn and he becomes victim to a hate crime being plotted and perpetrated by two men known to him. The film is remarkable in its effort to explore the subject of violence against transgender people. Transphobia is generally dismissed as something limited to cracking jokes at the expense of trans people and not accepting them into one’s social circle. In reality, transphobia borders on hatred and leads to violent and sordid crimes against trans people. ‘Boys Don’t Cry ‘is daring in that it chooses to portray such a sensitive and important issue.

Then there is the famous movie ‘Dallas Buyers Club’ that is extremely problematic in its portrayal of a trans woman. The stereotype of the crazy, drug addict prostitute persists when it comes to portraying the character of a transgender woman. What’s even worse is that the director chooses a cis male to portray the lead trans woman character of the film. Jared Leto plays the character of the trans woman in the film. This is the problem one frequently encounters in the representation of transgender people in cinema and tv. One rarely gets to see trans actors playing themselves. The problem is not with casting cis actors either. But the director generally has a tendency to cast to a male cis actor for the role of a trans woman and vice versa. And that is offensive to trans sensibilities. Why can’t a cis woman play the role of a trans woman? And then one wonders that if the filmmakers’ understanding of trans issues is so limited and parochial, then how does one expect them to portray their lives with any degree of depth and sincerity.

There is still a considerable lack of actors from within the transgender community. Often when big-budget films are made, the producer is obviously looking for an actor with that kind of a presence which makes them sell the film at the box office. And there are hardly any trans actors with that kind of stature. Then, there is also a paucity of transgender scriptwriters and filmmakers. This is something we need to look at. Positive portrayals of trans people in media will increase only when the storyline is being developed by transgender people themselves. This is not to say that a cis person cannot make a brilliant movie about the trans community. Surely, they can. But if trans people get to portray their issues from their own perspective and vantage point, the level of conviction would be in a different league altogether.

But still, things have improved a lot over years. While the frequency of trans representation in media might not have increased that much, the quality of representation has certainly improved. There are more positive portrayals of trans characters in media now than, let’s say 10 years or 20 years back.

Trans Representation in Video Games

Trans representation in video games has certainly increased over the years. Whether the quality of representation has improved or not is another issue though. Video games have been notorious for their stereotypical portrayal of trans characters. Often characters falling under the LGBT umbrella are just vaguely added for the sensational value without any proper characterization. The trans characters in these video games are mostly side characters. It’s rare to find a video game which has a trans character for a hero or a heroine.

The video game which is widely regarded as featuring the first trans character in gaming is Super Mario Bros. 2. The trans woman character by the name of ‘Birdo’ is badly stereotyped in the initial Japanese version of the game. She is constantly referred to as the man who thinks he is a woman. Birdo’s character is eventually developed to make it reflect a trans woman but even that is full of a lot of problematic stereotyping.

Another gaming series well known for having a trans character is Mass Effect: Andromeda. It features a trans woman by the name of Hainly Abrams and the game features her post-transition. The game shows her freely acknowledging her ‘dead name’ to someone. Now, a dead name is the name a transgender person had before the transition. It is usually a sensitive issue within the trans community. Transgender people rarely share their dead names with anyone. It’s only after they have established a great deal of trust and confidence that they would consider confiding it in someone. But the trans character in ‘Mass Effect: Andromeda’ is shown to be sharing her pre-transition name so casually.  Although the makers of the game acknowledged this error, made apologies, and worked on fixing it as well. So that’s a positive development. Because of increased awareness on trans issues, media cannot get away with inaccurate portrayals of trans characters. There is a certain pressure to present fair and balanced characters which are good.

Many Indie games also feature trans characters. A game like ‘Do I Pass’’ is about passing as a cis man or woman when people look at you as a trans person. The Indie game ‘Losing Charge’ is based on the life of a trans teenage boy who lives with his sister and their dad. Then there are others such as Undertale, Crypt of the Necro Dancer, and 2064: Read Only Memories.

The Way Forward

They say that even bad publicity is good publicity. This holds true to a certain extent in the case of transgender people. Even if the representation of trans people in films, television, and video games is full of flaws, the good thing is that at least they are getting visible. Once an issue gains visibility, it opens up the possibility of a dialogue. Even if a particular tv show or a film has a somewhat derogatory portrayal of trans characters, it has gotten these characters to the forefront of mainstream representation. When you are critiquing those characters, it gets easier for people to understand trans issues because they have that movie or TV show as a reference point.

A lot of media representation of trans characters is skewed simply because the people who create these programs might not enough about a trans person. They might have never met a transgender person in real life. Or even if they have, they might not have known them close enough to understand their life and struggles. That is why it is important for transgender people to themselves get involved in the creative industries. Once trans professionals and artists start creating audiovisual and written content about their lives and struggles, others will be able to understand their issues better. And it would certainly pave the way for more and more positive portrayal of trans characters in media.

A little about myself. I grew up in a family with three older sisters, and 1 baby brother.. Well. I say baby but we are really just two years, two months apart to the day. The question we got all the time was: "Are you twins?" specifically when we were standing right next to one another.

We had a small trailer home for about 16 years. 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. Being all piled up on each other with very little privacy, you'd understand why a family would constantly be jumping down each others throats. I grew reclusive, I didn't like conflict, and no one ever took the time to listen to what I had to say.

Then... My mom hurt herself.. Bad. I forget the details but let me explain it like this. Basically a muscle in her spine that separates the bone disc became ripped and weak, losing strength to keep those disc separated, causing extreme amounts of pain, and becoming bed ridden. My mom had to take some super strong drugs to even move.. Which didn't exactly put her in her right mind.. 

Long story short, My mom became a mentally, emotionally, and psychically abusive drug addict. this went on for many years. My dad divorced her and got remarried 2 years ago. My step mom showed me what a real mom was supposed to be like, and when I came out as trans, has been my biggest supporter.

But through the years of enduring my mothers.. Abuse.. I have several mental conditions. Depression, Anxiety.. And I have probably lost a few IQ points from being hit over the head a few times. I am slow and sometimes not very responsive.

I moved out of my parents home in Texas and moved in with my Sister and Brother in law in Louisiana. It was a huge change, especially considering I have never done a huge move in my life.

To cope with everything I have endured, I turned to the world of online gaming and role playing. Where my self expression was allowed to flourish. I could be anything and anyone I wanted to be, and the weakness, the hopelessness I felt did not exist! Because in these online worlds, My choices were my own, and if I was strong or weak was only due to how much I dove in. And let's just say.. People feared the name Raining Fire.

I picked up writing as a hobby. Which turned into a passion. Which turned into a purpose. Same with gaming. Able to write characters and stories of my own making as well as being able to live in someone else's. It was the ultimate escape.

I learned I was trans on March 7th of 2017. and since then, I have come a long way but at the same time not far enough. I still have doubts if I am really trans or not. If I am faking it just so I fit somewhere in this world.. But the answer keeps coming up.. Yes. It explains so much. It explains my hatred for male clothing, especially formal! It explains my jealously for my sisters and their beauty. It explains why, ever since I knew what sex was, that in every single one of my fantasies, I have been the woman in a male and female partnership. But.. The doubt remains. 

Thanks for reading the first part of my blog. In future writings I will be writing about my journey discovering I am trans and the steps I have taken to chase this new identity. To become Rain Nicole.

The scale of cyber threats may differ owing to the sources of the threats originated from, yet VPN may provide an escape route. These threats can come from, 

   ●  Country Federations

   ●  Criminal Clusters

   ●  Hackers

   ●  Terrorist Clusters

   ●  Hacktivists

   ●  Mischievous Insiders

   ●  Business Detectives

Cyber threats endure progress, producing tons of fatalities to the virtual domain. Referring to the scale of the Cyber threats and thinks to VPN review that explains the types of Cyber threats that determine the gauge of it. 

   ●  Malware Attacks: Malware is the most frequent type and may include mischievous software, viruses, spyware, ransomware, or worm. It can be downloaded just by clicking on a link. It can block critical parts of the network and can take away all the confidential credentials.

   ●  Phishing: Cybercriminals may send illegitimate and malicious emails that look like the official and legitimate sources and then takes control over all the information in the device or what they want.

   ●  Spear Phishing: This one is a selective scope approach towards the users to hack the selective data.

   ●  MITM: Man in the Middle Attack denotes the cyber-criminal as a subordinate amid two parties. Almost 95% of Https are exposed to MITM and it can steal sensitive data once exposed. 

   ●  DSA: Denial of Service Attacks target the massive and flooded network. Their vulnerability is quite high that hijacks and stops the system fully.

   ●  SQL injection: The Structured Query Language injection outbreaks and get into the database. It accounts for 65.1% of cyber threats. 

   ●  Zero-day Activity: When the vulnerability of software or hardware is expressed, then cyber criminals damage it before any VPN patch or VPN solution solves it. It is observed to be one per day in the year 2021.

   ●  APT: The Advanced persistent threats happen due to the malicious agent unwantedly getting access. Almost 45% of corporations think to be a target of APT.

   ●  Ransomware: This is also a malware attack, yet the attacker locks and encodes the data until the ransom is paid.

   ●  DNS Attack: This attack has occurred when Cyber-criminals get access and deploy the DNS. 

Now discussing these kinds of Cyber threats, the scale of cyber threats is demonstrated and how much it is common with how vulnerable they are. Coming towards the scope of Cyber threats, as it is obvious that VPN can assist in staying awake and aware of the cyber-criminals and these attacks. 

The COVID-19 pandemic began as the prevalent task for commerce and IT administrations in 2020. In the middle of the plague, the cyber threats plus information ruptures have developed in complexity and dimensions, with the number of fissures amassed 273% in the initial quarter, paralleled to the preceding year. On the word of Microsoft, the plague-linked phishing and communal engineering threats have hit the roof to 30,000 for each day in the US single-handedly.

Cyber threats have become a great issue. Cyber-attacks may source electrical shutdowns, the fiasco of army apparatus, and breaks of nationwide safety secrets. Which may cause the robbery of valued, delicate information like medicinal archives. They may disturb mobile and CPU systems or paralyze structures, making information inaccessible. It is not an overstatement to guess that virtual threats can disturb the working of natural life. Moreover, VPN reviews may also get affected due to cyber threats.

Cybersecurity threats are under no circumstances stationary. Masses are being produced every single year. Maximum threats tail the typical arrangements. Nonetheless, they are flattering furthermore dreadful.

Perhaps, there is a novel group of zero-day intimidations that are capable to wonder suspicions for the reason that they convey no noticeable ordinal marks.

Additional troublesome development is the ongoing development of whatever specialists consider APT’s. As Commercial Insider defines APTs, “It is the finest method to describe the hijackers who hole into systems and uphold stability — an association that cannot be at a standstill merely by software up-to-dates or starting up again a workstation.”

A proper way for initiating the understanding regarding by what means the organizations, businesses, and corporations, and even individuals can stay protected from Cyber threats, is the NIST virtual security background and also by the cyber intimidation intelligence implementation. 

Cyber security threat intelligence is whatever virtual risk info develops once it is together, assessed, and examined. Cyber risk intelligence delivers an improved indulgence of cybersecurity threats as well as permits you to recognize correspondences and variances amongst diverse categories of cyber coercions in an exact and opportune way. Virtual threat intelligence is established in a recurrent procedure denoted as the intellect phase. In the intellect phase, information assemblage is deliberated, executed, and estimated to yield a description that is at that point dispersed and re-evaluated in the framework of somewhat innovative material. 

Conclusively, A VPN review can also be helpful in ways of explaining how to avert cyber threats. Not every time it protects, nevertheless, in many perspectives it may. A VPN could halt the MITM assaults, might avert the secluded hacking, might make you safe from DOS Attacks, as well as it may guard against pseudo-Wi-Fi systems. Yet it does not provide assistance regarding malware and Phishing attacks.

From this article. Hopefully, it must have become evident about the scale and scope of cyber threats, especially in the modern world.

There are many intricacies in the cybersecurity profession; the elements embedded in this discourse will prepare enthusiasts seeking a guaranteed career to change life as we know it. In a world filled with tumultuous issues with most of the problems resulting from a security breach on the internet, with an increased number of people fortified with cybersecurity knowledge and skills, the world can be better in every sector that makes up each nation.

Discover the profession and its perks in this article!

Quick Facts

   ●  More than $114 billion was spent on information technology security operations, including products and services, in 2018. Interestingly, this improved the previous year, which saw an increase of 12.4% from 2017.

   ● In 2018, $5.3 billion was invested in cybersecurity by Venture companies worldwide, while North America alone saw more than $4 billion investments.

   ●  Cybercrime is one of the biggest problems posing threats to national security. Therefore, the White House increased the budget on cybersecurity by 5%. Consequently, the overall budget for the Department of Defense rose to $17.4 billion.

   ● Cyber Security crimes in 2015 caused $325 million in damages; hence organizations have bumped their investment in cybersecurity by 62.5% from 2013 to 2017.

   ● Cybersecurity professionals are well-sought after, with 38% of cybersecurity professionals being contacted multiple times by recruiters. Also, 48% of cybersecurity professionals are contacted weekly, exposing that cybersecurity is crucial in today's advanced world.

   ● By 2029, occupations in cybersecurity will have increased by 15%, with professionals earning above $100,000 annually.

Why Does Cybersecurity Matter?

In a world where data drives everything, cybersecurity becomes an intricate element in the survival of government agencies and organizations. Cybersecurity has become a recurring and impending problem for many organizations in the world today. Different issues such as IoT and the cybersecurity talent gap affect an organization's ability to deal with external threats.

A massive amount of data is being processed and transmitted every minute on government and organization's networks. These data contain financial, healthcare, personal, and other forms of information that could lead as a backdoor to devastating damage. Unfortunately, the hackers have continued to evolve in their operations as they target colleges, universities, government agencies, and other institutions that may not be up-to-date on cybersecurity matters.

Although there is no telling which industry hackers will focus their initiatives on the next several inclinations, the crimes will be more prevalent in industries without investment in security platforms and personnel. Several attacks have been carried out in the last decade, with some more effective than others. Here are common types of cyber threats:

   ●  Phishing

   ●  Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS)

   ●  Man-in-the-Middle

   ●  Botnet

Due to the recent cyber hacks on major companies in different sectors, companies have begun to invest heavily in cybersecurity since their survival depends on the data being processed and transferred from one end to another. Can you imagine what will happen if the framework of the bank you are using gets compromised? The thoughts are mind-boggling; hence, companies' survival and people rely on cybersecurity.

Individuals, businesses, and organizations are dependent on digital technology now more than ever, and advanced cybersecurity has become essential to protecting users and businesses from fraud, data breaches. According to Irwin (2021), there were 149 million records in December 2020 alone, which totalled 20 billion cyber-attacks, breaches, and hacks in the year. Some of the examples of these threats to cybersecurity witnessed in 2020 are as follows:

Cyber-attacks

   ●  Cyber-attacks infiltrated Canada's DuBreton Meats.

   ●  U.S. Treasury breached by hackers backed by foreign organizations

   ●  The attack on Mongolia by Chinese hackers.

   ●  Hurtigruten, a Norwegian cruise company, experiences a cyber attack

   ●  Anti-Semitic propaganda was posted on the Weslaco ISD network

Data Breaches

   ●  Canada's Sangoma Technologies confirms a data breach resulting from a ransomware attack.

   ●  Fax Express database online leak.

   ●  Konikoff Dental Associates loses control of patient information.

   ●  TennCare being susceptible to a privacy breach

   ●  21 Buttons carelessness in exposing social media influencers' valuable information.

Unfortunately, as technology advances, hackers have been getting better at finding new ways to breach even the toughest systems, and the consequences can be drastic.

The primary health information of 15 million Canadians was stolen from Life Labs in 2019 due to a ransomware attack.

Information such as date of birth, Names, addresses, emails, logins, and passwords was compromised during this time. Ontario and British Columbia were the most affected during this crisis from 2016.  85,000 people were known to have been affected by the breach.

Also, from 2018 to 2019, OPC reported that the number of Canadians affected by the breach was close to 28 million. This was more than half of the population at that time. The causes of the breach were said to result from "employee snooping" and "social engineering hacks," the accidental exposure of 22% of all documents within that time frame. 8% of reports during that year were reported stolen from the database.

In 2014 Home Depot suffered an ugly attack that had the information of its customers compromised. The criminals could access the customs' credit card information with the malware installed on the company's self-checkout terminals. Unfortunately, Home Depot was not able to detect the issue until after five months.

Anthem Inc. experienced one of the terrifying attacks in the Healthcare industry, with 80 million social security records uncovered in 2015.

When so much is on the line, cybersecurity professionals are essential to protecting businesses and their data from threats in the grand scheme of an organization's operations. Their job is to block the holes through which these criminals can find a way into the system.

Career Pathways in Cybersecurity

According to research done by researchers in the University Professional and Continuing Education Association, "Cybersecurity is the collection of processes and practices designed to protect the integrity of networks, programs, devices, and data from an attack, damage, or unauthorized access."

Cybersecurity professionals are hired to look for weaknesses in an organization's database and promptly fix the impending issues that can be used as a pathway for attackers to center.

Cybersecurity professionals' operations are dynamic as they function as detectives and analysts in a bid to find loopholes in the system.

Some organizations refer to cybersecurity professionals as Information security engineers, Cyber Security technicians, and occasionally, analysts.

What Types of Organizations Hire Cybersecurity Professionals?

One of the benefits of training in cybersecurity is that it can enable you to work in virtually any organization, whether large or small, in the public or private sector and the industry of your choice. Industries that tend to hire the most cybersecurity professionals are those such as:

    ●  Telecommunications

    ●  VPN Service

   ●  Law Enforcement

   ●  Technology

   ●  Banking and Finance

   ●  Government

   ●  Healthcare

   ●  Sports

Roles Cybersecurity Professionals Can Play in An Organization

There are streamlined job functions of cybersecurity analysts that companies offer them. These are:

   ●  Forensics

   ●  Network security

   ●  Vulnerability management

   ●  Threat Intelligence

   ●  Incident response

   ●  Application security

   ●  Data loss prevention

Trends in Cybersecurity

Cybercrimes have continued to evolve almost at the same pace as technology is improving activities on the dark web. It is more or less like the hackers hop on the new technology to find loopholes to hit companies. Hence, new techniques and strategies have been employed by companies to find a way to stop attacks before they collapse the business. Some of these trends include:

IoT Problems

As the world has shifted gears in harnessing the possibilities of data-driven technology, there are many more devices that have been incorporated into an internet connection. Therefore, hackers will try to bypass networks with weak security. Unfortunately, people do not consider changing their new devices' passwords and login details once they get them. Consequently, the hackers find it easy to access the information which can be gotten online.

More IoT problems come from the manufacturer as they may not have the expertise to upgrade their products' security. Interestingly, research shows that 48% of companies with IoT devices and their network have been successfully breached at least once. Therefore, hackers have begun to go through networks with IoT verifying the weakest security and bypassing that network to hit the company where it hurts.

Cybersecurity Talent Gap

Demand for cybersecurity professionals is now at an all-time high, and even with increased training opportunities and higher budget allocations, there remains a shortage of cybersecurity professionals and VPN reviews. Industries most affected by this shortage are those such as:

   ●  Government

   ●  Finance

   ●  Manufacturing

   ●  Healthcare

   ●  Transportation and logistics

   ●  Online retail

Many organizations have had no choice but to outsource their network, firewall, and other security needs to remedy this. However, this trend is expected to reverse as companies seek greater control over their security at a lower cost through permanent staff with the right skills and qualifications.

What Does It Take to Become a Cybersecurity Professional?

In order to be eligible for this certification, it is required to have sufficient knowledge in Computer science. Therefore, you must gather relevant skills to equip yourself for a deep dive into your career properly. Here are some skills that are pertinent to this career:

   ●  Adult and compliance

   ●  Cloud Security.

   ●  Risk analysis and mitigation

   ●  Digital forensics

   ●  Threat modelling

   ●  Vulnerability assessment

   ●  Intrusion detection

Several certifications have become standard in the industry and signify to potential employers that a professional has the right knowledge and skills to protect their data and systems. Some of the most popular include;

Here are the specific job certifications that employers require:

   ●  Certified Information Security Manager (CISM)

   ●  Certified Information System Auditor (CISA)

   ●  Certifications in GIAC

   ●  Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer

   ●  Certified Ethical Hacker (CEH)

   ●  McGill's New Certificate in Applied Cybersecurity

McGill's certificate in Applied in Cybersecurity intends to shine a bright light for people looking to start a cybersecurity career.

Also, students will be introduced to real-life scenarios of cybercrimes. This method will prepare them for what is to come after their program at McGill. The essence is to equip the students with the right tools to promote their creativity in tackling cyber-crimes properly. This diploma will further expose students to new possibilities through cybersecurity, plus an in-depth understanding of specific industries and their peculiarities.

Finally, with a team of experienced minds, it is easy for students to gain knowledge and expertise as there is a wide array of trained professionals ready to assist them.

It had been quite an excruciating experience in the dating world, faced with disappointments and heartaches. But I decided not to give up on my journey of finding my soulmate. I wanted to try something new and have a unique experience; you never know love comes when you least expect it.

I signed for a transgender dating site and immediately downloaded its trans dating app. I spiced up my dating profile and found this beautiful, blonde-haired attractive, and charming trans woman. Our first date was a romantic candlelit dinner in a fancy restaurant. I have learned over time that first impressions do matter, and you should have seen me. I was dressed to kill, ready to meet my perfect match. I was too excited and nervous to meet her.

As my date walked in, I was astonished as she looked way too beautiful than in pictures. We immediately clicked, we had interesting talks on various topics, the table was filled with laughter and endless giggles. It was quite a fulfilling night, way much than I expected. As time went by, I came to fall in love with her and understand her more. I now understood why many men had hitches when dating a trans woman. Here are some ways to help you be a better partner to your trans girlfriend and even nail dating a trans woman if it's your first time.

Develop interesting conversational topics

Before going to my first date, I remember to myself I would not under any circumstance ask my partner about her sexuality or her transitioning journey unless she brings it up herself. I imagined going to the first date and my sexuality is brought up; it would make me uncomfortable.

When dating a trans woman, try as much as possible to avoid talking about their sexuality or gender reassignment. Everyone goes through a different life journey, and you don't know what wound your partner is trying to heal from. The only time you can speak on their sexuality is when they allow you to. If you have any lingering questions as you continue knowing each other, bring them up in a sensitive, caring, and polite way.

You can talk about various things on your dates and physical activities, and you can talk about each other hobbies and interests.

Be Yourself on the First Date

When going on your first date, you know how you are incredibly nervous to the point you are afraid of talking or being yourself. One thing I have realized when going to date be yourself. Try as much as possible to steer up a conversation to avoid pauses that will make your partner feel cautious about themselves.

If you are a chatty individual naturally, don't shy away from talking. The same applies if you don't like chatting a lot, try as much as you can to have a conversation. Usually, the body language and talking pattern can help one identify if you are comfortable or not. You don't want your date to feel uncomfortable by how you relate and talk to them.

Be Courteous

The transgender community has had its rough times in society. You've heard cases of discrimination, abuse, and violence meted on the trans community and LGBTQIA as a whole. These make them very cautious of anyone who wants to be around them. Any politeness and kindness go a long way.

When with your partner, be a gentleman and make her comfortable. Even when visiting friends or family, make sure they deal with her politely and with kindness. Please don't insist on bringing her around people who make her feel uncomfortable or self-cautious. You need to protect your lady.

She is not your Sexual Fantasy

I can't say this enough, dating a trans woman is like dating any other woman. When registering in an MTF dating site, find your soulmate, and not fulfill your insatiable sexual fantasy.

7 out of 10 trans women will tell you they get weird sexual advances to form straight guys in their trans dating site message section.

Understand your partner's sexuality

There is always this confusion that since trans women are part of the LGQBTIA community, they are gay. This is not the case; a transgender person is born with either male or female sexual organs and features and decides to change into another gender. When dating a trans woman, understand that she is a trans woman, don't confuse her for a gay man, make this clear with everyone around you if they may not have this understanding.

When dating a trans woman, you are still a straight man; it doesn't make you a member of the LGBTQIA community, though it doesn't hurt to be one either.

Being a trans doesn't define a person

Please get to know your date first before jumping to conclusions based on their gender transitioning. Most trans women are scared of being dumped on the first date because they opened up about their gender. Interact with your date and get to know and understand their extraordinary personality.

In case they open up, please don't turn the date into a Q & A session to fulfill your trans research. No one would appreciate ifs a stranger turns their life into google. You are allowed to be curious, but not annoyingly and uncomfortably.

Don't keep your trans partner a secret

Not everyone will get why you are dating a trans woman. It's not the public opinion you are after. It's all about you and your partner and how you love and care for each other. Go out on dates with her, hold her hand while walking, have fun stuff to do outdoors that other couples do. Hang out with other teams, and doing all these will make your partner feel like you genuinely care for their happiness, and you are not afraid to show them off to the world.

Don't be afraid to take your relationship to the next level in fear of your family's say about your partner.

Treat a trans woman with the same respect you have for other ladies

Recently, I asked a straight guy friend of mine if he can opt to date a trans woman. The guy told me that "His toxic masculinity can only be handled by a girly girl who is a real submissive woman and not a trans woman." I was left wondering why men are viewing trans women with less respect as opposed to other ladies. Trans women have feelings too. They are someone else's sisters, wives, mothers, and friends. I bet you wouldn't like it if your sister gets disrespected just because they are trans. They face discrimination violence, and it would be best if they have a peaceful and respectful environment around them.

Another guy said, "A trans woman is masculine like and can end up beating me like a guy" This is a wrong view of the trans women world. Just like other ladies, they are soft and tender towards the male gender. Society needs to change its' perspective on trans gender people.

Not all trans women are the same

Imagine if your date stood you up because you have the same hairstyle as his ex. That’s messed up because no one is the same as the other. We are all different in one way or another. And that applies to trans women too. They might have gone under the same procedure to get to where they are now, but that doesn’t make them the same.

They have different bodies and personalities. Please don’t go around viewing one trans woman the same as another who wronged you. Get to know them before hating on them all. And don’t assume that they all have the same body structure because all are trans. The way you view a trans is not the exact way your friend will view them.

Respect a trans woman decision

Transitioning to their preferred gender is already a decision that they have to live with all their lives. You don’t need to question why they did the procedure or why they are the way they are. It takes courage and high self-esteem for one to make such life-changing steps and all they will need after is support from their partners and loved ones.

Give them a reason to believe that they made the right decision. Please don’t make their lives hard or regretful. I know you’d hate for someone to mess up with your life.

Transgender dating is exciting, and it's pretty much like any other kind of dating; nothing so special about it. It is one thrill that has to be experienced to be understood. Trans women will rock your world and will give you a new experience. The only thing that a man starting on this journey of trans dating has to do is show up with a pleasant disposition to the date, have an open mind, and look for love. It is simple, uncomplicated, and beautiful.

Time and again, you hear of a missing person's report and killings of individuals who had gone to link up with someone they met on a dating site. The risk is even high with our minority group; they have been instances where some of us have been beaten up, raped, or even killed for being who we are.

All in all, this shouldn't put a halt on our quest to find someone who will love, care, and cherish us. Online dating is a new way of meeting people, and it is here to stay. The next time you download a new Transgender Dating App for Android or Transgender Dating App for iOS, ensure you uphold safety when using the app.

 A laptop, phone, or tablet can't show you a person's true nature; it will mask who they are. Below is a way to help you navigate the use of a transgender dating site safely.

  Unfamiliar photo

In filling in your details, don't use the same profile photo you use in other social media accounts; use one which is unique and not on any social media platform.

  Do not disclose your personal information 

When creating your profile, leave out all details that can point out who you are, such as social media handles, contact information, etc.

  Use the app 

It is advisable to keep all communication through the app; you may find someone, and after a couple of dates, start to feel comfortable and decide to take the conversation out of the app. Yes, it is convenient to do so, but it is also dangerous. When the relationship doesn't work out, you are safe since the other party doesn't have your number; maintaining communication inside the app offers you protection until you fully know the person.

  Get a Google phone number 

After going on a few dates with this person, it's only normal to change numbers eventually.  You can set up a Google phone number and forward it to your phone; this is safe than giving your cell phone number.

  Be cautions when meeting

While using a dating site for trans woman, you always have to be on high alert. It's not advisable to let someone you have met online to know where you live. When you guys have a date, meet in a public place and use your means of transportation. Before going out for the date, let someone close to you know where you are going and how long the date will last. During the date, share any alarming scenario or any change of plan with a friend or relative.

Don't leave your drink halfway when using the restrooms, every time you walk out, ensure you have finished your drink or food, or get a fresh one. The first few dates are advisable to keep them short. At any point, you feel your safety is compromised exit the date immediately.

Put your safety first when using a transgender dating site to look for a lifetime partner. There are many creepy people out here hiding behind their keyboards.

The modern dating market is pretty saturated. It’s all about ruthless competition. And the typical dating behaviour of a cis woman doesn’t make things any easier. Well, an exception is always there but humans tend to interpret things through generalization. It’s natural. So, generally speaking, a cis woman is in the habit of playing constant games and making men go on chasing her till they are exasperated, tired and totally confused.

The ambiguous and rather manipulative behaviour of a cis woman has also got to with the fact that she actually has no clue as to what exactly she is looking for. And that is the usual thing to happen when you are in a woman’s body by default. You take it very casually, the whole thing about a woman. You are a woman because you have a woman’s body. It doesn’t mean for you much beyond that. You don’t spend hours thinking about being a woman, pondering on the beauty and ecstasy of femininity. You just take everything for granted.

A transgender woman, on the other hand, is not a woman by default. She is a woman by will and her strong desire to be one. She doesn’t let her body become an impediment in her journey as a woman. The extent to which she is willing to go in order to physically alter her body if of course her choice and decision. But she is a beautiful woman inside out. And that’s because she lives and breathes femininity and womanhood. It’s a matter of life and death to her. And that is precisely why getting a transgender girlfriend is in a different league altogether.

If you think dating a cis woman is the ultimate thing, you have probably just seen the tip of the iceberg. You have just seen the societal manifestation of what people call a woman. But if you want to date a real woman, you have to get a transgender girlfriend.

There are many reasons as to why you should date a transgender girl. Let’s discuss some of these here:

She Understands Your Needs and Desires

Now, you might say that the same is true for your average cis woman. But it isn’t. A cis woman just responds to your needs and desires in a way that is guided by her hormones. It’s like because she is physically a woman and she needs a man, she lets you make those moves and then responds accordingly. She is just playing by her biologically identity. But she doesn’t really understand your needs and desires.

A transgender woman, on the other hand, is in a unique position because of being born in the wrong body. She is a woman but because of her past experiences, she understands the male perspective and male psyche very well. She understands his needs and desires in totality. An average cis woman cannot even come near her understanding of men simply because they haven’t had that intimate peep into both worlds.

Because a transgender woman has this in-built sensitivity, she responds to male attention and admiration with genuine and heartfelt gratitude. When in the last time you remember a cis woman responding with gratitude to your efforts at getting to know her? Most of them have probably either snubbed you off or treated you as if you were a creepy stalker who was harassing them.

To be honest, it’s not entirely the fault of cis women either. They are bought up with a worldview that essentially sees men as perpetrators and women as victims. Therefore, their natural instinct is to ward off male attention by creating a halo around themselves or by playing games with men. A transgender woman is not bought up with that worldview. Because of her past life experiences, she has a very complex and nuanced understanding of how men are. So, she does not judge them. She responds to them with an open heart and understands their needs and desires.

She is Beautiful

There are a lot of societal myths about trans women concerning their appearance. These myths essentially brainwash you into believing that transgender women are manly, coarse and they do not bother with their looks or appearance. In reality, these are just a bunch of lies propagated by a hypocritical society that still finds it hard to accept a transgender woman.

The reality is that a transgender woman is way more beautiful than an average cis woman. If you check out the profiles of trans women on any transgender dating site, you would know what I mean. Even if you just google ‘trans women’ you would come up with images of women who could give a Victoria Secret model a complex.

A trans woman puts in a lot of effort when it comes to her appearance. She takes great care of her skin, knows how to apply make-up well and is always dressed up perfectly for the occasion. On the contrary, it is the average cis woman who is slovenly and careless about her appearance. How many cis women you know would turn up for a date in a pair of jeans and a casual t-shirt with a face that looks like they have just woken up and walked straight out of the door? Probably many. A transgender woman would never do that. She would go to great lengths to select an appropriate dress, footwear and accessories for the occasion. Finally, she would also select an appropriate look for her face. And when you do meet her, it will be like a Hollywood diva is sitting with you!

She Accepts You as Who You Are

With a cis woman, you need a lot of filters. You can hardly be your original self with her. She has way too many expectations. And in order to fulfil those, you are always trying to project an image. The real you have to be kept hidden. And that can get very stressing and frustrating for a man. None likes to go on pretending forever.

With a transgender woman, you can be the real you. She has had such a challenging life full of complex experiences.  A trans woman has undergone so many turbulent emotional states that she is mentally very mature and understanding. She knows that a person has many sides. She won’t necessarily judge you for things that are probably a very big deal for a cis woman. Even if she has certain doubts about something, she would not dramatically flare-up. She would coolly and calmly discuss the situation with you. A transgender woman would not get upset with you every now and then over trivial matters.

A transgender woman also has a more fluid conception of masculinity. She would connect with you as a person. With her, you don’t have the pressure of constantly having to project a certain masculine image. With her, you can be yourself.

She Might be Your Soul Mate

The whole idea of dating should be ideal to find a soul mate. But does the concept of soul mate really exist these days? It seems like a far-off thing from fairytales and the past. The disillusionment with the idea of eternal love has got something to do with the dating patterns of cis women and men.

Modern dating has become a game, a show off the venture. It is anything but love. It is natural that modern men have become disillusioned with the idea of finding love. And they just go from girl to girl, taking her out on expensive dates, buying gifts for her. But somehow, they lose that will to create a connection with the other person’s soul.

A transgender woman might just be the soul mate you have been long looking for. She doesn’t have the kind of expectations from you that a cis woman has. She doesn’t play toxic games with you. She doesn’t judge you constantly. With a transgender woman, you can be your real self.

And it’s only when we drop the façade of presences that real love begins. Or at least the possibilities of it begin. In order to get anywhere even close to real love, two people have to communicate with each other’s souls. And for that to happen, they have to connect with each other at a very genuine level.

Modern-day cis men and women are not falling in love with each other. They are just falling in love with each other’s reflections that they chose to call man and woman. And that is why they are so unhappy in love. They end up thinking there is no real love. But when you date a transgender woman, you have finally met someone who is willing to look directly into your soul. She is beautiful outside but she is not shallow. She is also beautiful inside. She has a heart of gold. And if you are lucky, maybe in her, you have finally found the soul mate you have been long looking for.