A Survival Guide for Your First Date with A Transgender Woman from Serenity's blog

One of the benefits of meeting a TS woman on a  transgender dating site is that you’ll get an excellent opportunity to get to know her personality without physical appearance being too much of a focus. Aren’t we all a lot more relaxed when conversing with people on Trans Dating Apps, rather than in person? The privacy of your own home lends itself to many great chats.

Once you’ve clicked with your potential date, it is important you get to know each other. During this time, ask relevant questions when you chat with her or them on the transgender dating site of your choice. “Her or them”– asking about pronouns is a very respectful way to start, for example. While many trans women use female pronouns, not all do. It is wise that you get into a mindset of never assuming you know the answer when talking with your match and to have meaningful conversations. After all, both of you are after something long-term and real. Ensure you set a solid foundation for mutual respect and honesty. Your conversations online will help you build a rapport before going out on the first date. Knowing more about her likes, dislikes, aspirations, and dreams builds trust and will prove crucial for surviving your first date. 

However, it is the date itself where the fun begins. Meeting a person for the first time can be a nerve-wracking experience, even for the most confident of individuals, and regardless of gender. Fear not, though – in order to make sure that all goes smoothly between you and your match, this article will provide a survival guide for your first date with a transgender woman.

Get Rid of the Pre-Date Nerves

While being nervous prior to a first date is completely understandable, too much nervousness can have a negative impact on your date. You might start babbling too much due to your nerves, stop listening to her questions and replies, and make a fool out of yourself in some way or another.  

Of course, whoever you connected with on the ts dating site might face the same problem. You can safely assume, however, that they will do their best as well to rein in their nerves before meeting you.

One way to reduce your apprehension is by simply distracting yourself with something interesting before the date begins. If you like to hit the gym, do so a few hours before your date in order to keep pre-date jitters at bay. The following shower or bath provides a wonderful chance to prepare yourself in terms of attire.

Reading a book, watching a video or episode of your current favorite show can also help distract you from nervousness.

If neither of these ideas resonates with you, it might be a good idea to do some housework. Clean the room you’ve been procrastinating on, do laundry or reorganize shelves and cupboards – the manual tasks will certainly soothe your nerves.

The trick, basically, is to keep yourself preoccupied so that you avoid overthinking your situation, that is the upcoming first date with a trans woman. Eliminating pre-date nerves will help you feel relaxed and prepare you to have a good time when the date begins.

Prepare Accordingly

Speaking of preparation: A successful first date involves some level of preparation for what you are about to experience. This holds true both on the physical and emotional levels.

In terms of physical appearance, ensure that you are well dressed in a way that suits the context of your date. While clean, comfortable clothes are perfect for casual walks in the park, a dinner date or first meeting for coffee might require more refined attire. Hitting the sweet spot with clothing can be tough, and the fear of being over-or underdressed might cause you ample anxiety before your date. In that case, why not reach out to friends and ask them for help? They will certainly be more than happy to assist you in choosing the right outfit for your first date with a transgender woman.  

Emotional preparation includes planning the topics you want to discuss with your date. Brainstorm a little: What did you talk about when you were still chatting on the ts dating app or transgender dating site? Can you follow up on any topics, or expand your interest in others she mentioned? Also, think about yourself:  What would you like to share about your day, your week, your life? What strikes you as important for a potential partner to know? When you are well prepared, conversations will run smoothly and you will feel a lot more charming and confident. This will certainly carry over to how your date perceives you.

Arrive On Time

Being late is a total turn off for many people, whether or not they are transgender or cis. So yes, plan diligently when it comes to your journey prior to the date. Do not forget to take into account weekday fluctuations in traffic and check reports earlier to ensure you do not miss any news about road closures or cancellations of public transport.

If you must be late for any reason, whether or not it is your fault, make sure to call or text your date to tell them that you won’t be able to make it on time. Additionally, you should have the decency to apologize to your date once you arrive in person and try to make up for your lateness. If your date has spent their time waiting for you, then you had better be worth the wait.

Enjoy the Date 

Of course, we all want to have fun during our first date! Sometimes, however, we are too nervous or preoccupied with how we come across or how the other person perceives us to remember that we are on a date and should be enjoying the time.

If that is the case, don’t shy away from admitting to it. Showing the self-awareness to say “I’m sorry, I’m really nervous right now” will prove your sincerity and open up the date to a more intimate connection. Anyone who joins a  dating site for transgender women, men, and others will have their share of negative experiences that undoubtedly influence how they feel about going on a first date with someone. Being open about this will create a safer space for both you and your match.

Enjoying the date also includes flirting and trying to make your date laugh. You can be as silly as feels natural to you – after all, your potential partner wants to get to know you, not the facade you think you need to project.

Be careful with complaints. If you find the date’s venue to be awful, don’t spend all the time dwelling on this. This will make you come off as a negative person. You could instead suggest a change in location if you think so strongly about it. This will make you seem pro-active.

At all times you should be civil, polite, and open-minded. Listen when she answers your questions and be honest when replying to inquiries into your own life. Telling the truth is always the best policy, although doing so with tact and kindness will leave an even better impression.

Ending the First Date

Knowing when to end the first date can be quite difficult. Saying goodbye to someone you have not known for long can be awkward.

You can alleviate this by thinking of how to end the date on a positive note in advance: Do you want to accompany her to her car, or her train or bus? When bidding goodbye, consider how you can show that you truly enjoyed her company and want to see her again.

One thing to avoid is a rushed departure. If you have an appointment or commitment to attend to after your date, even if it’s just your bedtime because the next day is a workday, don’t let the time catch you by surprise. Remain aware of how late it is so you can guide the date to a natural end that leaves both of you feeling content and appreciated.  

Follow up

Last but not least, it is highly recommended to follow up after a first date. You might test her when you arrive back home or wish her a good night after thanking her for a great time.

If she beats you to it, reply in kind and signal that you want to make plans for a second date. No need to rush a decision that day, but showing her that you are more interested than before will help cement the foundation you both are building for a long-term romantic relationship.