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The modern dating market is pretty saturated. It’s all about ruthless competition. And the typical dating behaviour of a cis woman doesn’t make things any easier. Well, an exception is always there but humans tend to interpret things through generalization. It’s natural. So, generally speaking, a cis woman is in the habit of playing constant games and making men go on chasing her till they are exasperated, tired and totally confused.

The ambiguous and rather manipulative behaviour of a cis woman has also got to with the fact that she actually has no clue as to what exactly she is looking for. And that is the usual thing to happen when you are in a woman’s body by default. You take it very casually, the whole thing about a woman. You are a woman because you have a woman’s body. It doesn’t mean for you much beyond that. You don’t spend hours thinking about being a woman, pondering on the beauty and ecstasy of femininity. You just take everything for granted.

A transgender woman, on the other hand, is not a woman by default. She is a woman by will and her strong desire to be one. She doesn’t let her body become an impediment in her journey as a woman. The extent to which she is willing to go in order to physically alter her body if of course her choice and decision. But she is a beautiful woman inside out. And that’s because she lives and breathes femininity and womanhood. It’s a matter of life and death to her. And that is precisely why getting a transgender girlfriend is in a different league altogether.

If you think dating a cis woman is the ultimate thing, you have probably just seen the tip of the iceberg. You have just seen the societal manifestation of what people call a woman. But if you want to date a real woman, you have to get a transgender girlfriend.

There are many reasons as to why you should date a transgender girl. Let’s discuss some of these here:



She Understands Your Needs and Desires

Now, you might say that the same is true for your average cis woman. But it isn’t. A cis woman just responds to your needs and desires in a way that is guided by her hormones. It’s like because she is physically a woman and she needs a man, she lets you make those moves and then responds accordingly. She is just playing by her biologically identity. But she doesn’t really understand your needs and desires.

A transgender woman, on the other hand, is in a unique position because of being born in the wrong body. She is a woman but because of her past experiences, she understands the male perspective and male psyche very well. She understands his needs and desires in totality. An average cis woman cannot even come near her understanding of men simply because they haven’t had that intimate peep into both worlds.

Because a transgender woman has this in-built sensitivity, she responds to male attention and admiration with genuine and heartfelt gratitude. When in the last time you remember a cis woman responding with gratitude to your efforts at getting to know her? Most of them have probably either snubbed you off or treated you as if you were a creepy stalker who was harassing them.

To be honest, it’s not entirely the fault of cis women either. They are bought up with a worldview that essentially sees men as perpetrators and women as victims. Therefore, their natural instinct is to ward off male attention by creating a halo around themselves or by playing games with men. A transgender woman is not bought up with that worldview. Because of her past life experiences, she has a very complex and nuanced understanding of how men are. So, she does not judge them. She responds to them with an open heart and understands their needs and desires.



She is Beautiful

There are a lot of societal myths about trans women concerning their appearance. These myths essentially brainwash you into believing that transgender women are manly, coarse and they do not bother with their looks or appearance. In reality, these are just a bunch of lies propagated by a hypocritical society that still finds it hard to accept a transgender woman.

The reality is that a transgender woman is way more beautiful than an average cis woman. If you check out the profiles of trans women on any transgender dating site, you would know what I mean. Even if you just google ‘trans women’ you would come up with images of women who could give a Victoria Secret model a complex.

A trans woman puts in a lot of effort when it comes to her appearance. She takes great care of her skin, knows how to apply make-up well and is always dressed up perfectly for the occasion. On the contrary, it is the average cis woman who is slovenly and careless about her appearance. How many cis women you know would turn up for a date in a pair of jeans and a casual t-shirt with a face that looks like they have just woken up and walked straight out of the door? Probably many. A transgender woman would never do that. She would go to great lengths to select an appropriate dress, footwear and accessories for the occasion. Finally, she would also select an appropriate look for her face. And when you do meet her, it will be like a Hollywood diva is sitting with you!



She Accepts You as Who You Are

With a cis woman, you need a lot of filters. You can hardly be your original self with her. She has way too many expectations. And in order to fulfil those, you are always trying to project an image. The real you have to be kept hidden. And that can get very stressing and frustrating for a man. None likes to go on pretending forever.

With a transgender woman, you can be the real you. She has had such a challenging life full of complex experiences.  A trans woman has undergone so many turbulent emotional states that she is mentally very mature and understanding. She knows that a person has many sides. She won’t necessarily judge you for things that are probably a very big deal for a cis woman. Even if she has certain doubts about something, she would not dramatically flare-up. She would coolly and calmly discuss the situation with you. A transgender woman would not get upset with you every now and then over trivial matters.

A transgender woman also has a more fluid conception of masculinity. She would connect with you as a person. With her, you don’t have the pressure of constantly having to project a certain masculine image. With her, you can be yourself.



She Might be Your Soul Mate

The whole idea of dating should be ideal to find a soul mate. But does the concept of soul mate really exist these days? It seems like a far-off thing from fairytales and the past. The disillusionment with the idea of eternal love has got something to do with the dating patterns of cis women and men.

Modern dating has become a game, a show off the venture. It is anything but love. It is natural that modern men have become disillusioned with the idea of finding love. And they just go from girl to girl, taking her out on expensive dates, buying gifts for her. But somehow, they lose that will to create a connection with the other person’s soul.

A transgender woman might just be the soul mate you have been long looking for. She doesn’t have the kind of expectations from you that a cis woman has. She doesn’t play toxic games with you. She doesn’t judge you constantly. With a transgender woman, you can be your real self.

And it’s only when we drop the façade of presences that real love begins. Or at least the possibilities of it begin. In order to get anywhere even close to real love, two people have to communicate with each other’s souls. And for that to happen, they have to connect with each other at a very genuine level.

Modern-day cis men and women are not falling in love with each other. They are just falling in love with each other’s reflections that they chose to call man and woman. And that is why they are so unhappy in love. They end up thinking there is no real love. But when you date a transgender woman, you have finally met someone who is willing to look directly into your soul. She is beautiful outside but she is not shallow. She is also beautiful inside. She has a heart of gold. And if you are lucky, maybe in her, you have finally found the soul mate you have been long looking for.

     

 


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A long-distance relationship is not for everyone. It is for those who truly believe in love and are willing to walk that extra mile for it. They are willing to even undergo physical separation from their lover for the sake of love. Relationship with a transsexual is not everyone’s cup of tea either. When you have committed yourself to dating a transsexual person, you have already signaled to the world that you are a unique person whose choices are not dictated by societal dogmas and stereotypes.


Your transsexual partner is anyways tough enough to endure a long-distance relationship. They have already won the challenging battle of coming out in the open with their identity. And transitioning is an extremely difficult phase. So, if they have come out of all that victoriously, they won’t really let distance become an issue if they are in love with someone.


You have also battled societal stigma, disapproval and outright condemnation while making the decision to date a transsexual person. So, you are a tough cookie as well. However, this does not mean that keeping a long-distance relationship is an easy deal. On the contrary, it is extremely challenging to be in a long-distance relationship with someone and keep the love alive.


Regular communication is very important for a long-distance relationship. And so are a couple of other things. This article is going to list a couple of tips that can help you keep up such a relationship. If you and your transsexual partner follow these tips, then even distance cannot be an impediment in your journey of togetherness and love!

 


Trust

 

Trust is the foundation of a long-distance relationship. Well, it is important for any relationship. But in a long-distance relationship, its importance is doubly elevated. You guys don’t stay in the same town physically. So, you have no way of really finding out what the other is doing most of the time, where are they going, who are they meeting. And you probably also have a work-life, deadlines to meet, household chores to fix. So, you cannot just leave everything aside and constantly spy on your partner through phone or social media! That would also be mentally unhealthy for you and toxic for your relationship.


Therefore, the only thing that works is trust. You have to realize that you two are together for a reason and distance is only a temporary impediment. Trust is of course not built overnight. It requires regular communication. Even though your relationship is long-distance, you have to make your partner a priority. Make sure that the two of you talk to each other almost every day even if it’s for a short while.


Just a virtual hug or kiss from your partner before you are going to sleep can go a long way towards building trust. If any of you are super busy and cannot communicate for a while due to some reasons, just tell that your partner. Communication keeps everything sorted. And lack of it creates mistrust.


If there is something about your partner’s behaviour that is bothering you and if despite all the trust, you have started doubting something, just ask them candidly. A good, honest conversation is like a stress buster and trust builder in any long-distance relationship.

 


Make Time for Each Other

 

You both are super busy. And you both have your own life, your own circle of friends wherever you live. But you have to understand that being in a relationship; you have to be each other’s priority.


So, it is very important that you create time for each other on a daily basis. Most of us spend a lot of time on social media even while we are working. So, it’s super easy to slip in flirtatious text messages to your transsexual partner once in a while even during work hours.


Get creative with your communication mode. Send each other pictures and videos from your everyday life. If you are in a restaurant having a great time with your friends, maybe you can just shoot a small video using her phone, tell your partner where you are and you are having a good time but are missing them. These small gestures go a long way towards keeping the fire in your relationship going.


Do not do everything by a plan. That can get monotonous and boring. Be unpredictable every once in a while. Send her a text or a WhatsApp message out of the blue telling her what you ate for lunch today. The idea is to be a part of each other’s immediate universe even though you are not living in the same town physically. It is certainly challenging but if you make time for each other and think of innovative and fun ways of communicating, you can do it.

 


You Have to Keep the Love Alive

 

Now, this is the point where a lot of long-distance relationships falter. Lack of physical intimacy due to the distance factor can ruin even the best of relationships. Sexual love is a basic need for everyone and if they can’t get it from their partner, they start looking elsewhere.


So, it is important that you and your transsexual partner find ways and means to keep the fire of love and passion burning despite the distance. You can consider having phone sex. Tease each other with sexy photos and messages. Phone sex can get very close and intimate if you are into it. The two of you can constantly moan and breathe erotically while you are building up the erotic crescendo over the phone. If you can actually imagine yourself getting physical with your partner while the two of you throw in graphic details of what you are doing to each other, phone sex can get very real.


Now, love surely doesn’t mean only physical love. Emotional love is very important too. In fact, in any relationship, after a point in time, emotional love is the real thing and physical love becomes an expression of your emotional intimacy with your partner.


So, it is important to keep the romance alive. Maybe, have a candlelight dinner date through a live zoom conversation! Create that mood in your apartment with beautiful lights, candles, wine and all that. Ask your partner to create a similar setting where they live. And then the two of you can have a live date. You can even try out a similar kind of live dating session from a restaurant or a café.


It’s also good to get old fashioned once in a while. That is, you can surprise your transsexual partner by sending chocolates, roses, greeting cards, flirty lingerie or whatever gifts they like once in a while.

Last but not the least, a simple ‘I Love You’ in the morning after you get up and, in the night, before you go to sleep would make your transsexual partner feel your love like you are sleeping just next to them.

 


Make Plans to Meet Each Other Once in a While Despite the Distance

 

A long-distance relationship doesn’t mean that you are constantly making love only on phone! You have to make some sort of a commitment to actually seeing each other in person even if it’s for a couple of days in 2-3 months.


And you have to make sure that when the two of you do meet each other, that time is literally reserved for your relationship. When your transsexual partner is visiting you, make the most of that visit. Even if it means going a bit out of your way and postponing all appointments, just do it. Nothing is more important in life more than a loving partner.


A couple of days of togetherness can be like a lifetime for people who are in a long-distance relationship. So, you and your transsexual partner have to make each other a priority and try and make travel plans to one another’s city if and when possible.

 


Discuss the Future of Your Relationship

 

Now, this is very important. In a long-distance relationship, you go to figure out where exactly it is going after a point in time. That is, the two of you should have a concrete roadmap for getting together at some point in time. The distance is ok at the moment but there has to be some mutual vision of the distance ending sometime in future.


Have candid discussions with your transsexual partner on a regular basis. No one wants to be enduring distance infinitely. There has to be some light at the end of the tunnel. So, the two of you have to have a concrete plan as to when and how the two of you can be together in one place. And you have to constantly discuss the progress you are making on that plan.


After all, it is for the sake of love that the two of you are putting up with a long-distance relationship. And that love has to materialize in you being physically together at some point in time.

 

 

     

 


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Emotional issues can crop up in any relationship. And if not resolved at the right time, these can ruin even the best of love stories. You have met the partner of your dreams through a transgender dating site or a transgender dating app. You look forward to the new chapter of your life. But this is only half the battle won. As you take your relationship forward, it gets very important to look out for any emotional issues that can potentially jeopardize your relationship.

Emotional issues in a transgender relationship don’t have a eureka moment! They just appear all of a sudden, out of nowhere. Not everybody is emotionally stable. In fact, most people struggle with some kind of emotional peculiarity. For example, some people are just too insecure about their looks all the time, there are others who smell a conspiracy behind literally everything and there are some who can be so self-obsessed that they tend to ignore their partner.

Whether you have met somebody through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating site, the first step towards resolving any of the emotional issues between you and your partner is to recognize that these issues exist.  These little emotional peculiarities and quirks that exist in every individual become issues over a period of time. But if you pay close attention to these typical behavioural patterns of your partner early on, then you can prevent these from becoming an issue.

After all, the best of relationships is built on a solid foundation of trust and communication. Once you have figured out the emotional issues that come up in your relationship, it is time to work proactively with your partner on resolving them. Here are some important tips that would help you identity existing emotional issues in your relationship and then work towards resolving them.



Dealing with an Emotionally Unstable Partner

Nobody wants to be with an emotionally unstable person. Dating an emotionally unstable person can damage your own mental health. If you have recently started dating someone you met through a trans dating site and you have realized that they have frequent mood swings, they get upset suddenly for no visible reason and could even get angry and abusive out of the blue, then you are dealing with an emotionally unstable person.

Well of course, when you are in love with someone, then you just want to ignore the nagging aspect of their behaviour and focus on positive things instead. After all, nobody wants to break their relationship just because of a particular personality trait of their partner.  So, to begin with, you should try and figure out ways to deal with your partner’s emotional instability. If you observe their behaviour closely, you might be able to figure out a pattern. Are there some specific things or topics that upset them? If you are lucky, avoiding those specific things might help resolve the issue altogether. But their emotional instability might be symptomatic of deep-seated unhappiness with their own self and what they have achieved in life. So, you can try and connect them with their positive side. Help them focus on their goals and ambitions. Make them feel loved and extra special. Well, this is true of any relationship but is especially applicable for people who have emotional problems due to pre-existing baggage. It could be their failed past relationships, troubled childhood, anything.  But love and nurturing can heal their wounds. And their emotional state would probably get more stable.

However, even after trying all this, if you still face problems and their emotional instability is becoming a source of concern for you and hindering your day-to-day life, you have to communicate this to them. The two of you have to talk it out. Everybody tries their best to maintain a relationship. But it cannot be at the cost of your mental peace.



Dealing with an Overtly Critical Partner

Mutual respect is very important for a relationship. And that involves being supportive of each other’s work and achievements.  But there are people whose favourite hobby seems to be no holds barred criticism and such people can be toxic for a relationship.

You started dating somebody through a trans dating site or a transgender dating app. And the two of you ended in a relationship. That’s definitely some great news! But if your partner constantly finds faults with everything you do and the way you, do it, then that’s not cool. We spend the maximum time with the person we are romantically involved with. So, it becomes even more important that our partner has a positive outlook towards our goals and achievements.

An overly critical partner can totally destroy one’s self-esteem. It can make a person doubtful about everything they do and in the worst-case scenario; they can even end up in depression. So as a rule of thumb, you should avoid dating someone who has a habit of commenting negatively on everything you do. Such people are plain toxic. If a person is emotionally unstable, you can still heal them with love. But a partner who finds faults in everything you do is most probably manipulative and toxic. They might just end up damaging you. So, it’s not worth the risk. In fact, a golden rule to follow is to be super cautious about self-obsessed people the moment you start chatting with prospective love interests through a transgender dating site or a transsexual dating app.

However, it is still very important to make efforts to resolve this issue. Try to talk it out with your partner. Communicate your concerns to them in a straightforward manner. A loving and caring partner will definitely try to make amends in their behaviour once they realize it’s not good for your emotional health. Try to understand their perspective as well. Maybe, they are just trying to motivate you to be your best version. You have to then tell them politely but firmly that they are going way too overboard with their criticism and that needs to stop. Set boundaries in your relationship. Your partner has to know when to stop. And if they truly value you and love you, they will understand your perspective and change their behaviour.



Dealing with a Self-Obsessed Partner

Now this one can be quite tricky. When you have just started dating someone through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating site, it is obvious that you want to give the maximum time to your newfound relationship. And you expect your partner to do the same. But what if you end up with someone who is way too self-obsessed? That can be damaging for your own self-esteem and for the relationship as well.

So do check out for the red flags early on in the relationship so that these issues can be resolved before it gets too late. If you have a partner who constantly talks about just themselves, their achievements, likes and dislikes, it can get a bit overwhelming. Self-love is good but self-obsession isn’t. When the two of you meet, there is no conversation. There is just this long monologue in which your trans partner is constantly talking about himself/herself and they are treating you like a dummy. When you make some plans, it’s all about their priorities. If they are busy, they will just cancel the plan at the last moment. But if you are busy, you have to adjust. When you are planning out where to go for a date, it’s always his choice. And you just have to agree.  Well, what I am trying to say is that it can be incredibly difficult to be with such a self-obsessed person.

So, you have to just communicate your concerns to your partner. They got to know your identity and self-respect are of utmost importance. The most important thing is for you to evaluate if the two of you are still in love. If someone is truly in love with you, they would not make you feel neglected and sidelined.



Dealing with an Emotionally Weak Person

An emotionally weak partner can be more of a liability than an asset in a relationship. They would constantly nag you with the most inconsequential of things. They would need you repeated reassurance about literally everything. If they had a bad day at work, it will affect them emotionally and they will expect you to get them out of it. If there is some problem at the workplace, they just won’t be able to handle it. They would just completely break down and expect you to get them out of this mess.

If you’ve started dating someone through a transsexual dating site or a transsexual dating app and they happen to fall under this category, then your life can get difficult. Well, emotionally weak people are not really bad people. They are not emotionally unstable either. They are just vulnerable. If they have a loving partner who is also emotionally strong and can protect them from all stress and worry, it can be a great thing for them. But maybe, it’s not a that great thing for you as an emotionally strong partner.

You do have your own life also at the end of the day. You got deadlines to fulfil, goals to accomplish and many other things to do. There are times when you just want to relax with your partner and not constantly having to act like an agony aunt who has to fix all their issues! An emotionally weak person can be mentally and emotionally draining. You don’t want your relationship to resemble babysitting in which your partner is the baby and you the babysitter!

So, if it’s getting too much for you to handle, talk it out with your partner. Set boundaries with them. Make it clear that there is a limit to which you can fix things for them. They have to learn to stand up for their own life and sort it out. If it still doesn’t work out, you could consider seeking the help of a relationship counsellor. You could even consider joining a transgender forum where you can communicate with like-minded people from the trans community and take their advice.
 

     

 


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Identity crisis is more common in transgender people than we think. When a trans man comes to grips with his new identity and starts the process of transitioning, it can be a tough road ahead. He might feel vulnerable, confused, exposed and even scared. It’s like embracing a whole new world. You know for sure that it’s your world but still, a number of conflicting emotions continue to haunt you. Before they figure out their real identity, this crisis is even more acute. A trans man is bewildered and exasperated because he doesn’t understand what could cause him such acute unhappiness and distress.


The fact that society doesn’t view transgender people in a great light doesn’t quite support your cause. In fact, it accentuates the agony and suffering of a trans man. The identity crisis that a transgender man typically goes through is known as gender dysphoria in medical jargon. Gender dysphoria refers to the psychological state when a person’s real gender identity is different from the one assigned to them at the time of birth. That is, their actual gender identity is different from their biological identity. Gender dysphoria is what makes many transgender people opt for medical transitioning in the first place. Post transitioning, gender dysphoria would gradually get resolved. But it doesn’t disappear overnight. A trans man might continue to experience dysphoria during transitioning and after it.


But there is nothing to be scared of when you face an identity crisis. With the right approach, a trans man can successfully defeat such a crisis.


This article gives you a couple of suggestions as to how you can cope with an identity crisis as a transgender man.


 

Recognize the Crisis


Human beings have a habit of evading issues. We often think that by pretending an issue doesn’t exist, we can get it out of our heads. But that is unfortunately not the case. A psychological issue will continue to haunt until it is resolved. For transgender men struggling with an identity crisis, it is imperative that they recognize the crisis first.


At such a time, thinking may seem like the last thing we want to do. But be courageous and try to figure out what exactly is happening. Is this crisis unique to you? Or have other members of the transgender community faced this crisis at some point in their lives? Ask yourself these questions. Do internet research to find out what is the exact name for this crisis. It is gender dysphoria and once you’ve figured that out, you will be in a better position to address the crisis.


Visit a transgender forum online and start a conversation with other trans men on that forum. Talking to like-minded individuals who are in the same boat as you are would give you a better understanding of your own situation.


 

Resolving the Crisis through Transitioning


Now, this is a fairly personal decision. But once a trans man has figured out that they are experiencing gender dysphoria, it is important to think of ways and means to resolve the crisis.


For many trans men, social transitioning might do the trick. That is, they begin to come out as a guy by confidently embracing the dressing style, body movements and behavioural characteristics of guys. Others might seek the route of medical transitioning. In fact, most transgender men do undergo some sort of medical transitioning. According to research, medical transitioning resolves the issue of gender dysphoria to a large extent. Through hormone therapy and other treatments, it makes a trans man’s biological identity almost similar to his gender identity, thus making it easier for him to date the opposite sex and socially embrace his new life as a man.


Identity crisis can pop up any time though. A trans man has to constantly deal with the apathetic attitude of society, bordering on hatred. This makes him vulnerable to such a crisis even well after transitioning. He finds it difficult to settle down his particular identity because society is constantly telling him the opposite. And this can make him question the gender identity of his choice again and again.


It’s a tough battle out there but the important thing is to just keep going and understand that the identity crisis is a temporary phase. You might feel like it’s the end of the world. But the good thing is you will come out even stronger and more awesome post this phase. So never give up on your identity and rights.


 

Consider Dating


As a trans man, dating and relationships are an important part of your life. We all need love. So, consider joining a transgender dating site to look for your soulmate. Dating is a great stress buster as well. Even as you are chatting with a number of prospective love interests online, it gives you something to look forward to. Dating creates immense positive energy and gets you out of the complex of self-doubt and anxiety.


Seeking out a romantic partner might seem like the last thing you want when you are undergoing an identity crisis but once you take the plunge, it can end your crisis for good.


It’s a psychological factor that indulging in pursuits that make us happy and relaxed automatically diverts our mind from negative things. It’s similar to the way exercise is great because it releases endorphins and keeps you away from depression and anxiety. Dating is certainly a great way to cope with your identity crisis. This doesn’t mean though that you are running away from the crisis. On the contrary, you are accepting the crisis as a challenge and fighting it out in your own way. Dating also gives you an opportunity to understand your own identity and sexuality in a better manner. It might even end your identity crisis altogether as love sometimes makes us quite sure of who we are.


 

Confide in Your Partner


This is for trans men who are already in a relationship. Do not try to hide those issues from your partner. On the contrary, you should tell them all about what you are going through. You spend the maximum time with your lover so they understand you rather well and are best placed to offer you advice.


The mere act of support from a partner can take your self-esteem a few notches up. Romantic love and attraction are an integral part of our gender identity. When your partner will reaffirm their faith in your identity, it will certainly work towards resolving your self-doubts.


 

Confide in Friends


Friends are no less than a soulmate. A good friend is the best thing that can happen to us. They are someone who gives us unconditional love and support without judgment or prejudice. A trans man struggling with identity issues should certainly communicate his concerns to close friends.


In times like these, nobody can comfort more than a friend. It might not resolve the issue but just talking to your best friend and opening up your heart to them would make you feel light and unburdened. It would take away some of your anxiety so that you can be in a better situation to understand your problem.


 

Seek Support of the Trans Community


The transgender community is a strong support network for LGBT folk struggling with different kinds of issues. It has been at the forefront of transgender rights and has been instrumental in bringing up legislation across the world that recognizes the transgender community and makes it easier for them to seek education and employment without discrimination.




A trans guy struggling with an identity crisis should certainly seek the support of the transgender community at large. You could do this both online and offline. You can join a transgender forum and interact with other members of the community. Bring up your issues in the forum and you would certainly benefit from their goodwill and advice. You could also become a part of the local trans community in your area. Do some research and find out if your city has an organization working in the field of transgender rights. Get in touch with them. Communicate your concerns. Some trans community groups also organize regular get-togethers and events. These are a great way of bonding with other members of the LGBT community and sharing your mutual concerns.


 

Consult a Medical Professional


This should ideally be your last resort. Confiding in your partner and friends and the trans community support network should help you resolve the crisis. But if the issue keeps on getting worse and it’s reached a stage where it’s interfering with your day-to-day life, consult a medical professional.


The medical professional will be more from a ‘mental health’ background. It will be like a counselling and mental therapy session. But again, here is a disclaimer. You shouldn’t be too optimistic about your problem being solved after seeing the professional.


Unfortunately, many medical practitioners are themselves prejudiced against the transgender community. They might try to talk you into accepting the gender identity assigned to you at the time of birth. It might even worsen your dysphoria because they will then essentially negate your experiences and identity, trying to tell you that it’s something abnormal or wrong. So, this should be your last resort.

     
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Committing the entirety of your life to a partner is something many people strive for, regardless of gender and orientation. While some might call it an outdated tradition, or criticize the patriarchal background that the custom carries, at the end of the day, marriage can also be a powerful step for a relationship.


For Felix and Helen Fenton, their wedding day was even more meaningful. Both of them are transgender - theirs is Britain’s first double sex swap wedding. Felix said: “This is the first day of the life I always wanted to lead – as the right love with the right person by my side.”


The Fentons’ shared their journey with the public to show that transgender dating is just as beautiful as any other love.


This inspired Maxwell and Janis, who used to be Ian, and found her soulmate in Maxwell, to ask the Fentons to be their best man and bridesmaid respectively. For Maxwell and Janis, their celebration was not a traditional marriage, but a renewal of their vows.


Jamie Eagle and Louis Davies are another double sex swap wedding who chose to broadcast their marriage: The 21-year-old bride, Jamie, was assigned male at birth, and the 26-year-old groom, Louis, was assigned female at birth. And given the struggles and the pain that often goes along with a transgender person’s journey towards their true identity, they kept wondering whether or not their big day would ever happen. When it finally was on the horizon, they received a chance to be featured on Sky Living’s “Forbidden Love” series.


“We thought long and hard before agreeing to it, because life is difficult enough for us, without TV cameras encroaching into our daily lives and struggles,” admits Louis. “But in the end, that was our motive for going ahead. We want people to have a sense of what our lives are really like so that when they talk about transgender issues, they are more informed.” Sky Living’s finished documentation of the event offers an educational, insightful, and quite moving glimpse at Jamie Eagle and Louis Davies’ special day.





Their stories of finding love as well as their true gender identity are one of many.


Daliah Husu, for instance, who was born Luis Miguel Morris, married her husband Ruben Husu. Daliah was just four years old when she realized she was different from other boys – she loved dressing up as a lady. She said: “My aunt used to call me ‘little woman’. It was her way of saying: ‘It’s ok, there’s nothing wrong with it’.”


Britain’s highest-ranking and openly transgender soldier, Army Captain Hannah Winterbourne married her partner, actor Jake Graf, in 2018. Instead of giving presents, their guests donated to the wedding fund as well as the surgery fund to support Hannah’s journey.


Transgender celebrities also tie the knot: Transgender model Carmen Carrera and husband Adrian Torres feel truly blessed: “Honestly,” says Carrera, “knowing that I was going home a married woman gave me a sense of peace... This wedding has given us a sense of freedom to be proud of what we have and who we are. Celebrating our love and what we call our 'modern, modern family,' lets us know that we belong here and that we also have a place to raise a family of our own on our terms. We feel truly blessed."


Meanwhile, transgender icon Janet Mock and Aaron Tredwell had a dreamy Hawaiian wedding on the island of Oahu. "I struggled to imagine what my big day would look like,” admits Janet Mock, “because I'd never let myself believe I'd have one. I never imagined I'd be a bride.” To that, the photographer groom, who proposed to Mock after five years of dating, said, “I know she felt that way, and I say it's ridiculous. I'm the lucky one in this relationship. I'll be forever grateful that she chose me.”


As the examples of publicized weddings show, committing your life to your soulmate does not need to be a private affair. Several transgender brides and grooms have taken it upon themselves to wield the interest their transgender identities garner to further a political mission.


For instance, Russian trans woman Irina Shumilova and cisgender woman Alyona Fursova broke no laws when they married. The reason: Irina Shumilova wasn’t able to amend her legal documents, which still identify her as male, before their ceremony. However, their union did cause ripples with the proponents of the ‘gay propaganda’ law in Russia: The couple has used the not-yet updated document as a chance to officially register their relationship since, under the Family Code of Russia, marriage is “a voluntary consent of a man and a woman.”


In Havana, Ignacio Estrada and Wendy Iriepa, born as Alexis, joined their lives together in a simple civil ceremony on the same day as Fidel Castro's 85th birthday. They called the wedding a “gift” to the former leader. Then, they draped themselves in the rainbow flag of gay pride to ride through the streets of the city.


In Malta, transgender woman Joanne Cassar fought an eight-year legal battle for her right to marry, thus paving the way for herself and others. She eventually became Joanne Sciberras Edwards with her new husband Kurstin.


India saw its first transgender couple marry under the Special Marriage Act in May 2018. Surya and Ishaan K Shaan celebrated their big day with over 500 guests, including Ishaan’s father, mother, and sister.



Advice If You, Too, Want to Have a Transgender Wedding


Well, first and foremost, you will need to find the right partner. Yet thanks to transgender datings sites that connect you to thousands of potential dates all around the globe, this is easier nowadays than it used to be ever before.


If your goal is to enter a long-term or even life-long relationship, however, you need to be open and honest about this to avoid falling in love with someone who does not share your life’s dream of marriage.


Once you have found the perfect match and you are both ready to commit, here are a few aspects to consider if one or both of you are part of the transgender community:


Beware of legal pitfalls: More and more countries and states have legalized same-sex marriages. So if you and your partner share the same gender after transitioning, you need to be aware of the legal circumstances in your country. If you are a male-female couple where one partner has transitioned, you might need to wait for name changes and gender changes to become official since you need a birth certificate to marry.


Take care when choosing vendors and venues: As headlines in recent years have repeatedly shown, there are many businesses that do not wish to tell to the queer community. If you are a same-sex couple or a trans/genderqueer/nonbinary couple, there is a risk you will have to deal with bigoted attitudes. So choose vendors carefully. Ask around in your local community for recommendations. Ideally, you know other LGBTQIA+ couples who celebrated their weddings and will be able to help you.


Consider what you share via social media: As instagramable as your wedding might be, keep in mind that the internet is home to a large number of narrow-minded people. If your ceremony includes transgender brides, grooms, or nonbinary partners, chances are you might attract harassment online. Be aware of this risk and talk through the implications with each other before you decide to share any photos or videos of your special day.


Family troubles: Unfortunately, some family members might not approve of your union. This affects queer people and transgender couples alike. Not having one’s family at one’s wedding can hurt, and the affected partner will need considerable support even if the rift between them and their family members is not new. Yet be sure to talk about how best you can help your partner – not everyone appreciates someone coming in on a high horse and taking care of a situation. Only act when you know your partner wants you to.


Cis partners require care, too: That said, let’s not ignore the fact that cisgender partners in a trans wedding will need support as well. While they may have spent a long time with their transgender partner and even been a powerful ally for the trans community, this does not always prepare them sufficiently to handle the added stress of a wedding. A cisgender partner might be embarrassed or even enraged by other people’s ignorance of transgender issues and concerns and thus have profound emotional reactions.


As different as some aspects of transgender weddings may be, they do not differ from any other wedding in this central truth: Both partners need care and support in the wedding planning process. While the actual day can be magical, the road that leads to this happy moment is often stressful and filled with challenges. That holds true for couples of all genders and orientations.


Remember the goal: committing yourself for life to the person you love. Focussing on the joyous outcome will help you both get through even the hardest and most difficult moments in your journey to marry.


Serenity VIP


Relationship partners of transgender-identified individuals have distinctive couple-related experiences that are important to understanding. The “Organizational Diversity” field concentrates studies on the experiences of groups that are different from the archetypal male, white, heterosexual, cisgender, able-bodied and western worker. When analyzing the studies regarding gender relations, however, one perceives their concentration on the dynamics between men and women localized in developed western countries. Transgender persons are persons whose identity and/or gender expression differs from what is socially attributed to their bodies, breaking with the heteronormative logic.


In Brazil, where only the bodies within this discourse are legitimate, this group is systematically excluded from a myriad of spaces including the formal job market. Therefore, the experiences of these people at and with work are invisible to organizational diversity's theory and practice.



To explore this issue, this study analyses the perceptions that the transgender person maintains about their relations:


1. With their professional history


2. With other people in their work environment


3. With organizational policies and practices.


Face-to-face semi-structured interviews were made with six transgender persons that work in organizations. From these narratives, it was found that the person's level of passing usually influences their relations and that the ignorance regarding transgender permeates all three domains of relations.



The Conclusions are:


1. The relations with work are marked by opportunity restrictions


2. The relations in the job hold the person responsible for their own intelligibility and safety


3. The relations with the organization vary according to the way it faces transgenderism and its own voice systems.


Transgenders are “people whose gender identity is different from their assigned gender at birth”. Individuals who identify themselves as transgender usually seek gender reassignment treatments, which may or may not include gender reassignment surgery. Transgender women (or trans women) are people whose body is read as male and whose gender identity is a woman. They usually go through treatments to acquire characteristics typical of the female gender and adopt names, clothes, and mannerisms seen as female. A transgender man (or trans man), in turn, is one whose body is read as female and whose gender identity is a man. They seek to acquire characteristics that are typical of the male gender and use names, clothes, and mannerisms seen as male. When considering their choice of work and hiring and admission processes, the word employed most often by respondents is if they are passable, the degree to which others take a transgender person as cisgender.


In practice, the higher a transgender person is passable, the less likely they are to suffer transphobia: if one's gender expression allows them to be seen by others as cisgender, they will not be subject to the prejudice and discrimination aimed at transgender people, increasing their chances of entering and remaining in the formal labor market. Two aspects affect them being passable: one's name and one's appearance. The ignorance regarding transgender people not only permeates the relations transgender people keep with others in their work environment, but also with the organization itself. The result is that trans phobia creates and maintains difficulties for transgender people in entering and remaining in the formal labor market.

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