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As a MTF trans woman, one feels like they have gotten a new lease of life after sex reassignment surgery. It is a precious phase in a trans woman’s life. Her mind is undergoing a heady cocktail of diverse and confusing emotions and her heart is in a state of flurry. She is perhaps looking forward to joining a trans dating site or a transsexual dating site to look for the love of her life. She is definitely on cloud nine. But she is also somewhat anxious. A trans woman is anxious because she wants to be the best possible feminine version of herself. And sometimes she doesn’t quite know how to go about it. She has had a hard time literally battling for her identity. And now although she has come out in flying colours, there are things and aspects about being a woman she must learn. And in the process, she has to undo a lot of unconscious behavioural traits and characteristics that she has gotten so used to because of her past identity.

Being an elegant woman is not just about makeup, fashionable clothes, footwear, jewellery and accessories though. Femininity is a way more complex concept that takes time to understand and master. Of course, being super well-groomed and dressing like a woman is the first step towards cracking the femininity code. But just getting the feminine look right isn’t enough. A trans woman needs to internalize the body language of a woman, she needs to assimilate the essence of femininity at a rather subconscious level and that’s the challenging part.

But it’s not impossible. Following the right tips and suggestions, she can certainly grasp the essence of femininity and apply it to her own life. This article lists out a couple of points that a trans woman should keep in her mind during her journey towards embracing femininity.

Understand Femininity

Femininity has some tangible and some intangible aspects. Now, the tangible aspects are easy to crack. As a trans woman, you start wearing the right clothes that suit your body type and accentuate your femininity. You keep an eye on all the latest trends through fashion magazines and regularly check out your local women’s apparel stores. You learn the art of applying makeup and also master the craft of creating the right look by adding the right accessories to any given outfit. All these things you can learn. But the difficult part of femininity is the intangible aspects. And unless you have cracked those, it’s only half the battle won.

A woman is beautiful not because she has the right makeup on or because she is dressed up perfectly. She is beautiful because she feels beautiful. Even when she has just woken up, there is such a soft allure to her body and facial expressions that it can melt the heart of even the toughest of guys. Even while she is casually sipping her morning coffee and there is not a trace of makeup on her face, her smile can light up an entire room. Her beautiful tresses falling carelessly on her forehead can inspire poets and artists to madness. When she lifts up her head and looks at someone, she is loveliness personified. This is the essence of femininity that a trans woman has to imbibe. She has to feel from the core of her heart that she is feminine and beautiful. And then her entire being will begin to radiate with the aura of femininity.

Embrace the hidden Values of Femininity

Femininity is also about a lot of values that make the world a beautiful place to live in. Kindness, compassion, mercy, all these are feminine values. A trans woman seeking to appear more feminine should also learn to imbibe these hidden values of femininity in her day-to-day behaviour.

Let’s try to understand this through an example. A trans woman has met a potential love interest through a trans dating app or a trans woman dating site. She goes out on a date with that person. They go to some café and the waiter spills the food on her dress by mistake. This is of course an awful thing to happen but how she handles the situation will tell a great deal about her femininity. Now she can respond to the same situation in different ways. She can either shout at the top of her voice and abuse the waiter. Or she can take control of herself, appear calm and dignified and tell the waiter politely but firmly that it’s ok but he should be careful in future. Which of these two reactions would make her appear more feminine? Obviously, the latter one and her date would be impressed with her femininity and gentle behaviour as well.

There is no manual that can teach you how to understand these hidden values of femininity. You just learn along as you go deeper into your journey of embracing femininity. Just remember that kindness and compassion are eternally beautiful qualities that only a true woman is capable of.

Adopt Feminine Grace in Your Movements and Voice

This is something you can actually learn as a trans woman. You can go through a transgender blog or join a transgender forum where you can learn from other trans women the art of adding feminine grace to your bodily movements. You could even consider joining a grooming class where the basics of feminine body movements are taught. If you can’t find such a class in your local area, you could always try and find a virtual one.

The first thing that a trans woman has to learn about feminine body movements is that she has to learn the art of restraining her body movement. So, if you just barge into a room, it won’t appear very nice and feminine. On the contrary, if you walk as if you are just sliding effortlessly, your feminine aura and grace would be just noticed by everybody. There is a certain delicate rhythm in feminine body movements. A woman doesn’t just fall into a chair. She sits down gently and gracefully. Similarly, when she walks, her body movements have a graceful, almost effortless rhythm. She never sits with her legs apart. That’s one golden rule to follow. You should always sit with legs as close together as possible in order to appear more feminine.

A trans woman who has just gotten a date through a transgender dating site is also concerned about her voice. It’s natural that she wants to sound feminine and all but it’s not so easy to discard her old voice. There are specific voice training classes that a trans woman can attend where she will basically be taught tips and tricks on modulating her voice in a way that would make it sound softer and feminine. She can also consider practising singing. Singing wonderfully opens up the vocal cords and once you start singing the higher up notes, that feminine, sweet clear voice would just come to you naturally.

You can also practice your feminine speech with a friend. And it really helps if that friend is honest and they give you the right kind of criticism so that you can improve. You can also consider practising your feminine voice in front of a mirror or even with your phone selfie camera. This would also make your body language more confident and you would also learn to project the right facial expressions while practising feminine voice.

A Woman’s Handbag speaks a lot about her Femininity

A handbag is a very important accessory for a woman. You would rarely spot a woman without a stylish and ultra-chic handbag. So, if you are coming out as a transgender woman, do spend on a collection of cool handbags. Your handbag should mirror your femininity but you shouldn’t go overboard with experimentation, at least at the initial stage. It’s best to start with classic and chic handbags in solid colours. As you get used to carrying one, you can get more experimental with your choice of a handbag!

For a trans woman who has just started dating someone through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating site, it is very important to perfect the right look. Makeup, clothes and accessories can help her ace that looks. But the look is incomplete without the right handbag. The contents of a trans woman’s handbag are equally important. A lady’s handbag is a reflection of her femininity. If all items are arranged neatly within the handbag, it tells one a great deal about her aesthetic sense and neatness. On the contrary, if her handbag is shabby with all sorts of things literally spilling into each other, it speaks of an untidy and slovenly disposition.

Some ‘must include’ items in a woman’s handbag are hand sanitiser, lipstick or lip gloss, facial mist or facial wipes, deodorant, a compact mirror, feminine hygiene products (tampon), safety pins, a notebook and a pen and last but not the least, some cash.

A MTF trans woman is a lady who was born with the male biological gender. That is, her body had physical and biological characteristics of a man so she was assigned masculine gender at the time of birth. However, she identifies herself as a female. She had the eerie feeling of being trapped in a male body for a long, a feeling that gave her a lot of anxiety and discomfort. She battled this on a daily basis till she finally decided to come out as a woman. And once she begins to come out as a woman, she might choose to undergo certain medical procedures to develop the outward appearance of the female gender.

Having said that, it is not easy to be a MTF trans woman in this society. Although things are way better than let’s say 20 years ago, they are still far from best. People now perhaps recognize the right of transgender people to live a normal life but accepting them is a different issue altogether. It is still difficult for trans people to find regular jobs. If they are in college or university, completing their education becomes a challenge for them.

A transgender woman goes through a lot of societal challenges once she comes out in the open. But as they say, every cloud has a silver lining. These challenges can definitely get her on the verge of a breakdown. But with her characteristic courage, determination and confidence, she can overcome these challenges.

This article tells you about the main challenges faced by a trans woman and how to overcome these.

Struggle with Identity

A trans woman goes through an acute identity crisis for a long time. For every courageous person who has come out as a transgender lady in the public, there is a rather painful background story. She undergoes the most harrowing of identity crisis while growing up. The society judges her by the identity that is assigned at the time of birth. She has the biological characteristics of a man so she is expected to behave like a boy. She is supposed to adopt the typical mannerisms of a guy and socialize in a male pattern as she grows up. But all this gives her enormous distress. She feels like she is trapped in a wrong body and there is no one she can communicate this with. The parents come from the same society so even they might dismiss what she feels and just ask her to conform.

And that is the worst kind of struggle anyone can face. To have people tell you in your face that what you feel so deeply and truly is abnormal, nothing can be more painful than that. This identity crisis often gives rise to gender dysphoria.

All this can be really traumatizing and scary because if you are an adolescent, you can’t even take steps to undergo medical transitioning because you don’t have the finances plus you can’t take such decisions for yourself. That’s why many transgender people come out in the open later in life.

But you don’t have to let this identity crisis mark your life. If you feel like a woman trapped in a male body, speak to your family about it. They might dismiss you at first but if you persist, they will understand you and help you in your journey. If your family is hostile, confide in a friend whom you think understands you. In the meantime, you could get valuable information from a transgender forum and learn from other trans people's experiences. If it gets worse, you could seek help from any of the organizations working for the rights of transgender people. There are many such organizations active these days. A simple Google search will help you figure out how you can get help from one of these.

Struggle to Find Love

This is the common struggle many transgender women face. Once they come out in the open, the next challenge is to find love. Societal apathy makes it next to impossible for a trans woman to seek a partner the way a cis woman does. She can’t just walk into a party and strike a conversation with a guy she finds interesting. The guy might just turn hostile and even abusive the moment she reveals her identity, for all she knows.

So the best bet for a transgender female looking for love is to join a transgender dating site. These days there are many dating sites specially designed for the transgender community. These sites are relatively safer s compared to conventional dating sites. Also on these sites, the person you are talking to more or less knows that you are a transgender woman. In a conventional dating site, there is always that added risk of someone not knowing your identity even if you’ve categorically stated that you are trans.

A trans dating site also gives you the flexibility of communicating with different kinds of people from across the world. Your choices are not limited. If you were dating someone through family or friends, then you would have a limited pool of people to choose from. So this is an added advantage with online dating. Also, there is no pressure to really meet anyone. That’s the best part. You can go on chatting with different people for a long time till you finally decide to go on a date. And if you still feel uncomfortable about meeting someone, you don’t have to. There is no compulsion.

Finding love as a trans woman is definitely not easy but it’s very much possible. It takes all sorts to make this world. There are many wonderful guys out there. Meeting the right one at the right time is all about destiny.

Struggle with Work and Education

Most transgender people undergo some kind of struggle with work and education. This struggle is more acute in countries where the laws are mostly directed against transgender people. But even in countries where the law recognizes their rights, trans people face this problem.

For a trans woman, completing her education or keeping a job is a major challenge. That is why many transgender women keep on delaying medical procedures because they are scared of losing on education or work. There are many transgender women who are forced to lead double lives. They have to hide their identity at the workplace. They are forced to live out their real identity only in private or with close friends. That’s why it’s no surprise that many trans women just quit their jobs.

For a MTF transgender woman with no savings or little financial means, this can be a source of acute distress. Everyone has the right to earn their livelihood. But in case of trans people, even if the company doesn’t directly discriminate against them, there is so much apathy and transphobia at the workplace that they end up quitting anyway.

For a MTF trans woman trying to live a normal life post-medical treatment, all this can be very complicated. Even if she legally gets assigned the female gender after the gender reassignment surgery, she still faces problems.

The only way to address this is by creating more and more awareness around issues faced by the transgender community. Many people don’t even know what is exactly meant by the term trans. They probably confuse trans people with gays and lesbians. So firstly, a massive social movement is needed to educated people about the meaning and implications of the term transgender. Laws alone cannot bring changes. It’ only when cis people in schools, colleges and workplaces will become champions of transgender rights that things will begin to change for good.

Struggle with Conventional Notions of Femininity

This is a typical struggle that a trans woman undergoes. She has the pressure to conform to the conventional standards of femininity. Just feeling like a woman isn’t enough. She has to make sure that her dress, appearance, behaviour simulate that of a cis woman. She attends grooming classes, learns the art of applying makeup, and takes voice lessons to make her voice sound more feminine.

Somewhere, a trans woman has to find her own ground. She has to create her own distinct style and aura. Even all cis women are not the same. Some cis women are ultra-feminine whereas others are more tomboyish and carefree. So there is no sure shot manual to being a woman really. A transgender woman should feel free to embrace femininity in her own unique style. She should not get bogged down by the whole conventional baggage of femininity. Her essence is that of a beautiful woman. And her outward being should reflect that in its distinctive aura.