What are the Common Mistakes Men Do When Dating a Trans Woman? from Serenity's blog


Finding love is one of the positive things for any human being; love doesn't choose who you fall in love with. The dating game has seen a significant change from the previous traditional setting. Nowadays you can look for love using your phone or even a laptop as long as you have internet. When looking for love on a transgender dating site, you don't want to come off as a freak or disrespectful. People have different personalities and may handle scenarios differently; you have to put this in mind when looking for love.


Trans community has gone through unimaginable atrocities over the years from violence to killings due to them transitioning. They had been misunderstood for a very long time. There are cases where trans women are looking for love but all they get are men who want to fulfill their crazy sexual fetishes, who want random hook-ups basically that’s it. So the moment they come across any man who wants to date them they already have their guard up and takes note of every move or word one says.


If you have never dated a trans woman, you have to be cautious in approaching the issue. We don't want you to offend anyone or come off as insensitive. Now that you have downloaded a transgender dating app for Android, before you send any message through the chat option to a potential lover, read the article below and understand how to handle a trans woman if you've never dated one before.


Your Potential Lover is not a Sexual Fantasy

    Imagine this, everywhere you go, and people view you as a sexual fetish, probably they are thinking of how it feels like going to bed with you? Do you have two sexual organs?  We can all agree this can be not very pleasant and is emotionally draining. You will always be on edge when someone approaches you, even if they were greeting you.


    Why go ahead and make another human being feel this way? Why send messages asking what they have between their legs?  Treat someone as you would love to be treated. When you spot a trans woman, you like, and you would love to know more about them, approach her delicately. Years of being mistreated and viewed differently have left a lasting impression on most trans individuals, so don't blame them.


    Strike up a conversation that's doesn't focus on their genital parts or anything to do with their sexuality; there are plenty of topics you can talk about. Always remember the person you are dating isn't a ticket to fulfilling your wild sexual fetishes. They are humans who need love too. They aren’t there to answer your queries and imaginations on transgender.


    Put aside the crazy things you see or read on the internet on transgender. Take time to create a bond with your lover. Know more about them and what they do and how you can be a support system for them without making your partner feel wary of themselves.


    Confusion on Sexuality

    There has been a lot of misconstrued thinking that when you date a trans you are considered gay or even a trans. Certainly, this is not the case at all, you are a guy dating a woman just like any other guy is doing when dating a non-trans woman.


    Now that you are dating a trans or aspire to date one, it doesn't mean you are trans too. Over time there has been a lot of stigma in society when straight men date trans women; they are automatically assumed to be part of the LGBTQIA community. Indeed, this is not the case; when a straight man dates a trans woman, they are still straight because she's dating a woman.


    Dating a trans man doesn't make them any less of a man or straight. When you date one, know your sexuality doesn't change, don't be afraid or question your sexuality. Gender and sexuality are two different things. You are aware gender means the characteristics that help differentiate a man from a woman, while sexuality is how you feel and express yourself sexually.


    One thing people confuse on is when identifying their partner’s sexuality. For some unknown reason, it’s never understood why people assume trans women are gay. You find instances when you are introducing your partner or letting people know of her transition journey you say they are gay. Such is not the case.


    Always respect your trans partner's sexuality; she is not a gay guy. She is a straight woman. Respect the fact she has boobs, woman sexual organs, and is beautiful just like any other woman out there. Don't go somewhere and introduce her as a gay guy, you were attracted to her because she is a woman.


    Have Some Sensitivity

    When going on dates, could you be gracious enough and treat your trans woman date as you would any other woman. Questions such as how they decided to change their sexuality and their sexual organs shouldn't be asked. Only engage in these sorts of talks if the lady in question has initiated it. Talk about her interests, hobbies, and life expectations, engage in such kind of interactions. Your primary goal is to ensure your partner is comfortable and enjoying the date.


    Don’t be the annoying individual who wants to question or pressure your partner about their choices, this ends up messing with their self-esteem.


    When introducing your lady to your family and friends, they don't have to know that your woman is trans. I mean, she is like any other lady, isn't she? Her gender or sexuality shouldn't be news to everyone around you.


    All-Trans Women aren't the Same

    Not all trans women have the same body; you may have dated a trans woman who has not had sexual organ reassignment but is taking hormones that enhance their outward appearance.  You may also come across a woman who has had gender reassignment procedures done. Don't assume that all trans women are the same in terms of body and sexual organs.


    The same applies to personality; society has left many trans individuals with emotional turmoil and the feeling of being stigmatized. If you happen to date a trans going through their own emotions dealing with society and maybe your relationship ended badly. Don't have the formed notion that all trans have a particular way of handling things or being in a relationship.


    Have Respect for Your Lady

    Just because your lady transitioned it doesn’t make her a man. She is a beautiful woman who decided to embrace, love, and respects her sexuality. When having arguments or disagreements don’t deal with her as you would a man. She is a lady who can’t fight you. Be calm handle the issues you have amicably. Never mention or use her transitioning journey as a weapon to hurt her. The same way you will handle any other woman is the same way you should handle your trans partner.


    Have Some Chivalry

    Imagine dating someone and they keep you a secret, it will hurt, wouldn’t it? One thing that many trans women will tell you is, they find a good man who ticks all the boxes, but the man can’t commit and keeps them as a secret. When you decide to date and love someone be ready to embrace everything about them not caring what the public will say.


    When going on dates let people around you know she is your woman, your soulmate and your lifelong partner, better than wasting someone’s emotions and time they have invested by being in a relationship with you.


    Yes, your partner was born with a male sexual organ, but this doesn't make her a man; she is a woman. She needs to be treated like the queen she is. Open doors for her, take her on lovely romantic dates. Please don't have the mentality that you are dating a man because you are not; you are dating a beautiful trans woman. When someone tries to come at her different and disrespectful, be her knight, defend and protect by all means. A relationship can be tricky most times; your partner might tell you that you don't treat her right before registering for a trans dating site looking for the next relationship. Try and work through to being an ideal partner and treat your queen like she deserves.



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