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It is said that women often have some difficulty when it comes to developing self-confidence. They tend to focus on building others up rather than helping themselves. For an MTF Trans Woman, things can be even more challenging. Therefore, it is important for MTF Transgender Women to take some time for self-confidence development. Luckily, self-confidence can be mastered via learning, and even if you stumble here and there, you can succeed if you persevere. Here are some tips that will help you bolster your confidence as an MTF Trans Woman.

The ability to relax can be advantageous when developing self-confidence. First, you must identify the situations that trigger nervousness. Once you know the types of situations that make you feel tense or uncomfortable, you will be in a position to make adjustments so you can relax. For example, if you know you are about to enter a situation that naturally fills you with apprehension, try to think about happy things. The mental distraction allows you to calm yourself and relax.

While mental relaxation is important, you also need to ensure that your body posture is relaxed. You should relax your facial expression when talking to people as well. Once you practice these tricks, you will not only be able to relax but also be able to enjoy yourself even in situations that used to make you tense.

Focus on Your Strengths

Focusing on your good points is a great way to build self-confidence. In order to focus on your strengths, you must kill negative thoughts. It is especially important to be aware of your self-talk – the way you think about yourself. You should always avoid negative self-talk as it often has a negative impact on confidence.

Groom Yourself and Dress Nicely

Looking good often translates to feeling good. When you have confidence in your appearance, your general self-esteem also increases. On the other hand, nothing kills your confidence more than a messy, dirty appearance. However, dressing nicely does not necessarily mean that you need to wear expensive clothes. All you need are clean, well-fitting clothes that show off your best features.

Identity plays a crucial role in a person’s life journey. A person’s identity also determines how society perceives them. And that is why it’s so difficult for transgender people to be able to work out even the most basic needs of life – dating, relationships and a job. It’s hard to imagine that even in the 21st century; society is so prejudiced against trans people. But that is unfortunately the sad reality.

A transgender person can’t even date someone the usual way. They have to go through a transgender dating site or a transsexual dating site. It’s literally impossible for a trans woman to attend a random party, strike a conversation with a random guy and tell him that she is trans. It is difficult to even imagine the kind of dangerous scenarios she could be exposed to if she does that sort of a thing. Transgender people are also vulnerable to cyberbullying and a host of online threats and abuses. Hence, many consider opting for a virtual private network and look for the best VPN service around.

So why is society so obsessed with making a transgender person’s life hell? What is their problem with a trans person? Well, it is their identity that society finds problematic because the desired and lived gender identity of a trans person is exactly opposite to their biological gender identity. That is, a trans person doesn’t identity with the gender they were assigned at the time of birth. And that is what society finds hard to accept.

Society is obsessed with a person’s biological gender identity which is the gender assigned to them at the time of birth. Since childhood, their respective gender identities are repeatedly reinforced in the minds of girls and boys. Girls are encouraged to keep their hair long, take interest in make-up and clothes, play girlie games and just generally behave girlie. Boys are encouraged to play outdoors and slowly develop body language and a lifestyle that is considered’ manly’. If anyone tries to challenge the conventional gender roles assigned to them and feel like they belong to the other gender, they are seen as a threat to the existing social order.

And that is precisely why society is so inhumane to transgender people. It views them as ‘transgressors. However, it’s not just trans people that society labels and judges. Those who identify themselves as genderqueer are also a victim of societal hatred and discrimination. These are people for whom gender is a fluid concept. They don’t identify with a particular gender. A genderqueer person kind of lives their own identity in between genders. They could also continuously switch between the two genders, according to their wish.

If you wish to date a transgender person through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating app, you need to understand a few basic characteristics of them. There are so many stereotypes surrounding trans people in society that it can be difficult to know how they actually are.

This article would list a few insightful points that would help you understand transgender identity from a holistic perspective.

Transgender People Are Not Necessarily Gay, Lesbian or Bisexual

This is a common misconception that all transgender people are gay, lesbian or bisexual. Nothing can be farther from the truth. To begin with, the term transgender is strongly related to one’s gender identity, as opposed to sexual identity. When we use terms like gay and bisexual, these correspond more with the sexual identity of a person.

Secondly, transgender people strongly identify with one gender, either male or female. Many even undergo medical transitioning to develop the outward manifestations of that gender and be recognized in society as that gender. As a matter of fact, many transgender people want to date and have relationships the heterosexual way. That is a trans woman desires a man, just like a cis woman does. And a trans man would desire a woman, just like a cis man. So, it’s wrong to indiscriminately label trans people as gay, lesbian or bisexual. If you are a cis guy and you start chatting with a trans woman through a transgender dating app or a transsexual dating site, she obviously wants to date you just like any other woman would.

Transgender people are also not genderqueer. They strongly identify with a particular gender and then try to live their life, according to that gender. A genderqueer person, on the contrary, doesn’t believe in the concept of gender. They can live in between genders or switch from one gender to another, as and when they wish.

Transgender People Identify with a Gender Different from the One they were Assigned at Birth

This is a pretty basic point. But it’s important to emphasize because many people still don’t have a clear understanding of the gender identity crisis that trans folks undergo. Cis folks might think that the strong urge to change one’s gender is just a whimsical fetish. But in reality, the gender identity of trans people is a matter of life and death for them.

From a very early age, they begin to strongly identify with the opposite gender. They don’t find pleasure or happiness in activities that a typical person born with their gender would. Because of this, many transgender people also experience gender dysphoria at some point in their lives. If you go through a transgender blog or read about the experience of trans people on a transgender forum, then you would understand the kind of grave identity crisis they undergo.

Because of fear of society and other reasons, many still forcefully try to live their life according to the norms of their biological gender identity. But there comes a point when it gets too overwhelming and they can’t handle it anymore. That’s when they come out as a transgender person.

A Transgender Person Might or Might Not Undergo Medical Transitioning

Many trans people decide to undergo medical transitioning in order to outwardly embrace their desired gender identity. That is, they want to have the physiological characteristics of the gender they identify with. The medical transitioning procedure helps them live in society freely and openly as the gender they identify with. It also helps them find a love interest or a partner. Transitioning is especially helpful for trans people who want to date within the normative framework of heterosexuality.

Having said that, many trans folks choose to skip transitioning altogether. They embrace their new gender by adopting the body language, dressing style and behavioural characteristics of that gender. It really is about the choice of the person concerned. Some feel just fine even without transitioning while others have this strong urge to physically be like the gender they identify with.

Medical transitioning is also an expensive procedure. Many trans folks can’t afford it. Besides, it is also very demanding physically, mentally and emotionally. Many transgender people lack the support of family or friends that they so need during the transition. Although things are changing now as many voluntary organizations are coming forward to help trans people with transitioning. Also in some countries, the state medical services can also provide for the transitioning procedure of a transgender person.

Trans People Contribute a Lot to the Society

Most people have this stereotype about trans people that they are some kinds of losers who portray themselves as victims all the time. This is crass, insensitive and totally unacceptable. But unfortunately, that’s how some in society perceive transgender people. If you read up about trans folks on the internet or just go through a transgender blog, you’ll come to know the kind of amazing contributions that trans people are making to society.

And they are not just trans rights’ activists. But transgender people can be increasingly seen in mainstream professions like doctors, engineers, police officers, academicians and even politicians.

There are many trans icons across the world in fields like entertainment, culture, art and literature. Trans activists are creating awareness not only on issues faced by their own community but they have also become a voice for the marginalized and under-represented in general.

Despite all these advances, prejudices against transgender people still remain deeply entrenched in society. There still are a number of clinicians who believe that gender non-conforming children can be set right through relevant interventions. That is, they should be encouraged to behave according to their traditional gender roles and this will eventually fix their ‘problem’.

The whole mindset of viewing the identity crisis of a transgender person as a ‘problem’ is just sad and it reflects the rather limited understanding of society on issues related to transgender people. There needs to be a larger social movement through which various trans issues find representation on a larger platform. There has to be greater emphasis on the fact that transgender people are not an object of journalistic enquiry. They are people, like any other and you need to connect with them at an individual level.

Those wanting to date a transgender person through a transgender dating app or a trans dating site need to understand that trans people have the same emotional needs as anyone else.

He Born to Dominican parents, New York local, Laith Ashley propelled his career with a monumental campaign for Barneys New York, shot by Bruce Weber. Making his introduction as one of the primary trans male models to ever show up in a national campaign, was just the start.

A graduate of Fairfield University, he studied psychology with a focus in research, religion, and law. Laith started his transition at the end of January 2014 and found that modeling constrained him to confront himself in ways he never envisioned. Laith was the main male model on Oxygen's TV show, 'STRUT' and has been highlighted on a few covers, including Attitude magazine. 

He has strolled in fashion shows for major designers and has been highlighted in Vogue Hommes.  A defender for social equity, Laith has done incalculable interviews, empowering social change and advocating for equitable rights for LGBT people, and additionally speaking on the significance of decent variety at universities in the US and abroad. 

There is a side to Laith Ashley that presently can't seem to be seen by the majority. A born entertainer, Laith is a vocalist, a songwriter, and dancer. His greatest dream was to impart these endowments to the world, and now he at long last will.

Your hands require regular care and attention, just like the face and body. For a MTF trans woman, the care required is even greater because your hands might not be conventionally dainty or feminine. But you are a beautiful woman inside out. The beauty radiates through your face and shines in your soul. Your external appearance is just a mirror that reflects your beauty and hands are an important part of that look. It’s like completing a full circle. When your external beauty and internal beauty intertwine, the world is bound to notice your unique aura.

As a MTF trans woman, your hands are also a proud witness of the arduous journey you’ve undertaken.

This article gives you a few tips that would help you feminize your hands and make those more gorgeous and delicate looking.

Always Keep Your Hands Moisturized

Moisturize your hands regularly. This is the bare minimum essential for feminizing your hands. Even if we have normal skin, our hands tend to be drier than other body parts. Therefore, it is important to moisturize your hands immediately after a shower. You could use a good quality body moisturizer for the purpose or go for a hand cream. Many good quality brands these days offer excellent hand creams that have been formulated especially for the skin on your hands.

As a MTF trans woman, you want to leave no stone unturned in making arrangements for that special date with someone you met through a transgender dating site. But there are certain things about your appearance you can’t change. You cannot change the build of your hand but you can certainly make those softer and delicate with regular care. If you have had a difficult life full of challenges, it’s normal to have your hands go rough or coarse in texture. With regular hydration and moisture, you can improve the texture.

There are certain ingredients that work wonders for locking in moisture. If your hands are too dry and need extra attention, looks for creams and lotion that contain ingredients like shea butter and strawberry butter. The good old Vaseline petroleum jelly is also great for moisturizing hands! For extra moisture, use a thick hand cream or lotion at night before you go to sleep, and make sure you cover your hands with gloves later on. This will lock in the moisture while you are having your regular beauty sleep and you shall wake up to wonderfully soft hands.

Last but not the least, for any hand cream or lotion to work well, it’s important to stay hydrated. Make sure you drink at least 10-12 glasses of water every day and consume salads and fruits like papaya, watermelon, etc on a regular basis.

Natural Oils Should Be Your Best Friend!

Natural oils can work wonders for hand care. You can replace a hand cream or moisturizer with one or better still, use it in addition to these things. Natural oils like olive oil, coconut oil, sweet almond oil, and avocado oil can work wonders for your hands. Just massage your hands with a drop or two of one of these oils whenever you have time and you are good to go. Natural oils have an additional benefit over moisturizers in that they would increase blood circulation, making your hands look more healthy and vibrant.

Whether you are using moisturizers or natural oils or a combination of both, one golden rule to remember is that with hand care, more is always better! Our hands tend to get dry real quick as we use these repeatedly for a number of tasks every day. This makes them more prone to dirt and invisible bacteria, making the skin harsh and somewhat rough. It is therefore important to pamper your hands with these natural oils whenever you can steal a moment or two.

Go for Regular Manicures

For a MTF trans woman wanting to feminize her hands, regular manicures are totally worth it. If cost is an issue, you don’t have to go for over-the-top expensive ones. A basic manicure would do the trick. Going for a professional manicure has many advantages. The expert would get to know your specific concerns and customize a session accordingly. Regular manicures would not just keep your hands soft and supple but you would also get rid of any unwanted tan on your hands. Not to mention, it would ensure you always have those perfect nails.

A manicure is also a great option for a transgender woman who has a super busy schedule. A session at the parlour once a fortnight gets you sorted. It can also be a savior for emergency conditions. Let’s assume you met someone interesting through a trans dating site and the two of you are planning to go on a date. But your hands are not in the best condition at the moment. In such a scenario, a great manicure can give you an instant fix. This doesn’t mean that regular care and grooming of your hands is not needed but it can at least take care of that emergency situation.

Take Extra Care of Your Nails

Nails are a very important feature of a woman’s hands. Therefore, as a MTF trans woman, it’s important that you take extra care of these. A golden rule to follow is to avoid wearing your nails way too long or short. Keep experimenting with the length and with time you would find your ideal length. Nails that are too long look weird and are hard to manage as well. So make sure the length of your nails is just right.

While choosing nail polish, make sure it goes well with your skin tone and the general character of your hands. If you are not sure about what would suit you best, go for nude shades or lighter shades of colors like pink. Go for bright red nail polish by all means if you like but make sure you’d be able to pull it off.

The condition of your nails is also an important factor while choosing nail polish. If your nails are a bit unkempt and not in the best of condition, it’s safe to go for muted and low-key shades. Wearing bright colors would just draw more attention to the imperfection of your nails and you don’t want that.

Go for Hand Jewelry

The use of hand jewelry can give an ultra-feminine look to your hands. No guy could resist a set of soft smooth, well-manicured hands with trendy and chic hand jewelry. So a MTF trans women should definitely consider wearing bracelets and rings for feminizing their hands.

However, you have to be careful while choosing the right jewelry for your hands. Make sure you don’t go over top with hands accessories. You want to look beautiful and elegant, not bizarre and weird. It’s best to stick to just one or two simple pieces. If you wear too many rings, that would just draw even more attention to areas you are not very comfortable with.

The shape and build of your hands is also an important factor to consider while buying hand jewelry. Many MTF trans women already struggle with the issue of somewhat big hands so wearing delicate jewelry might draw even more attention to the size of your hands. Instead, go for hand accessories that are in sync with the size of your hands.

A chunky bracelet would be ideal for someone with big hands. The whole point behind wearing hand jewelry is to make sure the femininity of one’s hands is accentuated. Finally, the most important thing is to go for hand jewelry that suits your personality. Every personality has a distinct aura. Your makeup, dressing sense, everything should complement that aura. The same is true for hand accessories.

Finally, just be proud of yourself and the journey you’ve undertaken. As a MTF trans woman, your hands are a proud testimony to the many hurdles you’ve overcome through sheer willpower and determination. The difficult times are over. Now is the time to celebrate and pamper yourself. Just like your beautiful soul and indefatigable spirit, your hands deserve every bit of that pampering.

Eventually, your next step for legal transition will be to change your gender marker. Now, this part is significantly more difficult and varies wildly from state to state. Some states are relatively simple, while others are a right pain in the butt. For example, I am very privileged to have done all this in Minnesota, which has one of the more trans-friendly laws regarding gender change. For me, I had to consult with a physician about my gender identity and present a document from her verifying that she believes my gender identity to be valid (though ironically, the Judge presiding over my case didn't even ask for it! Don't gamble on that though ), alongside dotting my I's and crossing my t's of course. I got it changed on my social security card, my birth certificate, and my photo ID.

Unfortunately, not every gender change is going to be that simple. A lot of states require that you undergo gender reassignment surgery before you are allowed to change your name, which is both cost-prohibitive for many, but also not something that every trans person wishes to undergo. Some states will also require that your gender change is noted on your birth certificate (mine did not, thankfully). Of course, knowing how the United States can often treat trans people, it should not be surprising at all to find out that a few states are not interested in trans rights beyond seeing the advance of these rights as a threat.

In Kansas, Ohio, and Tennessee, a person cannot change the gender on their birth certificate to match their gender. In all three, however, a person may still change the gender on their driver's license just by having a notice from their physician verifying their gender identity. Kansas has laws that prevent changes to a birth certificate other than minor changes, and Tennessee is the only state to specifically bar trans people from changing their gender marker.

It's not all bad though, because at least driver's license gender change laws are significantly less stringent. Unfortunately, you will still have to deal with some rigmarole depending on your state. Luckily, states generally do not require SRS in order to get the gender marker changed on your driver's license, meaning that you will still be able to present as your gender in public if you can't change it on your birth certificate. The conflict with states not allowing birth certificate changes can present complications, however; for instance, if you were born in Ohio and moved to Kentucky, Kentucky law requires that your driver's license's marker match your birth certificate's.

While we are admittedly in a bit of a sour spot in history for trans people with the election of Donald Trump to the presidency and setbacks on trans rights, trans people have seen many legal victories in recent years. For example, before April of this year, Idaho was alongside Kansas, Ohio, and Tennessee in denying trans people the right to change their gender marker on their birth certificate. However, a subsequent lawsuit and decision by an Idaho District Court Judge resulted in Idaho law being changed to the effect that trans people's request to change their gender marker is not automatically denied anymore. Not only that, but SRS is not required, and neither is a notation of the gender having been changed. There are lawsuits against other such laws, including Ohio, so we may well see laws relaxed.

Because of the complexity of laws regarding changing your gender, such an article cannot and should not be used as your sole source of information. In order to get a proper understanding of your state's laws, check out here... Changing Birth Certificate Gender Designations: State-By-State Guidelines.