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The gender-specific norms and expectations set up by society can wreak havoc on a trans person’s confidence and self-esteem. This is a common problem many transgender individuals face. They just end up thinking they are ‘not trans enough.


Let’s begin by clarifying that there is nothing like ‘not trans enough. If you feel like a woman, then that’s it really. You don’t need to strictly match the physical characteristics of a particular gender in order to belong to it. If you choose to undergo a medical procedure to develop the external attributes of a cis man or a woman, that’s totally your choice. But these external physical characteristics don’t define your identity.


If you are a trans woman, it’s the essence of femininity you carry in your heart. How you express it externally is your choice and prerogative. Similarly, if you feel like a man, you are a trans man. And you don’t need to go to ridiculous extents in order to conform to stereotypical standards of masculinity.


Transgender individuals often suffer from what is commonly known as ‘imposter syndrome. To put it simply, they feel that they do not quite fulfill the expectations of the identity that they are claiming and feel that they don’t deserve to belong there. They feel as if they are wrongfully claiming someone else’s identity. Imposter syndrome can lead to a lot of negativity and depression in a transgender person. They spend too much time thinking about their imagined inadequacies and deficiencies rather than just living life and being happy.


It becomes like a vicious circle in which all their focus is on how to match the societal expectations of a typical man or woman. In the process, they forget their unique identity and are always under undue stress to conform.


This article tells you about a few ways in which you can overcome the ‘imposter syndrome’ as a trans person.



Fall in Love with Yourself


Self-love is the most important step towards combating imposter syndrome. If you love yourself, you are too busy to think about other peoples’ opinions of your personality or way of life.


When you are seeking love through a trans dating site, you are seeking validation from someone. You want someone to like you and adore you. In the process, their opinion becomes so valuable to you that it can make or break your day. This is not to say that you should give up on dating! Of course, you should seek out a partner for romantic love. That’s a basic necessity of life. But at the same time, this should not become the be-all and end all of your life.


Fall in love with yourself. Make your personal well-being the most important project of your life. Constantly set short-term goals for self-improvement. For example, challenge yourself to lose 3-4 kgs of weight in a month. Set a goal to take greater care of your skin and improve your skin health in a certain stipulated time frame. If you hate a particular type of exercise routine, motivate yourself to go for it.


Once you start treating your personal well-being like a project, you won’t have time left for anything else. And all the negativity will just vanish.



Work On Your Self-Confidence


Confidence is the biggest asset anyone can have. There are people who are not so good-looking or competent but they have such high levels of confidence that you are spellbound by them. When they walk into a room, they can make everyone look at them just by the virtue of their self-confidence.


As a transgender person, have faith and confidence in your abilities. Even if your dressing isn’t that perfect, your voice isn’t that deep and baritone like as a trans man, people will ignore all these things if you are confident. When you walk into a room, have a subtle but convincing smile on your face. Always look into the eyes of people directly while talking. When you are listening to someone, your body language should signify interest. When you are in a social setting, take the initiative to strike a conversation. All these things speak of an impressive level of self-confidence.


Confidence helps you score high even when it comes to dating and relationships. When you are chatting with someone through a transsexual dating site, you got to know how o build their interest and take things further. A person with self-doubt and hesitation will just say some awkward things and then they won’t know what to say next. But a confident person would take the initiative to start and conversation and then follow it up with even more interesting anecdotes and stories.



Cultivate the Trait of Positive Thinking


Positive thinking sounds easy. It means to think positively so it’s easy, right.  But in reality, it’s a challenge to think in a positive manner. As human beings, our thinking and feeling patterns are predisposed towards reacting more strongly to negativity rather than positivity. Think about it. How many times do you really react to some positive news stories like some great discovery or invention, some great advancement in the field of medical science, etc? It’s also hard to find any positive news. Generally, we are surrounded by negative news all the time – bomb blasts, accidents, corruption scandals, and all that.


So as a transgender person, you have to cultivate the habit of positive thinking. When you get up in the morning, tell yourself every day that how it’s going to be a beautiful day and you look forward to it. Remind yourself of all your achievements and the good things you’ve accomplished for yourself and others.


Develop empathy. It’s amazing how empathy for others can result in an improved self-image and positive thinking in general. If you see an elderly person on the road struggling with their bags, make an offer to carry those for them. Make it a general habit to be more aware of your surroundings and help people whenever you can. This will surely open up your eyes to all that is good and positive inside you and outside of you.



Get to Know More About Various Trans Icons


One way to overcome ‘imposter syndrome is by getting to know more about various trans icons. Transgender people are making their presence felt in every field, be it cinema, art, entertainment, fashion, sports, politics, law, media, or any other area. Read up about various trans icons. Their positive life stories will certainly inspire you. You will learn about the importance of being original and unique rather than blindly following standards set by society.



Be Connected with the Transgender Community


It’s great to be connected with the wider transgender community. You could join a ‘transgender forum’ online and communicate with other trans individuals. You could also join a local group that takes up transgender issues and participate in their meetings.


This is a great way to expand your social circle, make some great friends and be more aware of your own identity in the process. When you are constantly in touch with other trans people and are regularly sharing experiences with them, you are less likely to doubt your identity.



Concentrate On Your Professional Goals


This is a great way to keep negativity and depression at bay. As a transgender person, it’s very important that you focus on your professional goals. When you are struggling with so many issues and trying to live out an identity that society is constantly trying to negate, it’s understandable that your professional life will suffer. But if you stay determined and concentrate on your professional goals, this can be therapeutic for your personal life.


Just as you set various goals for your personal life, do the same for your professional one. If you are in a field of work where one constantly needs to update their knowledge, take regular refresher courses. If there is a particular aspect of your work you need to improve, concentrate on that. Also, focus on your communication skills since these are very important for work.


As you focus more and more on your professional goals, your mind will become more rational and organized. And you won’t have any time or inclination for negativity or irrational thoughts.



Educate Others About Trans Issues


Give yourself the task of making your friends, family, and colleagues more aware of transgender issues. Talk to them, get to know their thinking, and then give them your perspective. Society has a lot of misconceptions about trans people. And a lot of these stereotypes exist because there is no awareness enough. This kind of brainstorming will help in creating that awareness.


Many transgender individuals are in a state of constant self-doubt about their identity because of societal stereotyping and expectations. Society knows little or nothing about trans people. So they try to fit into the binaries of male or female as defined by society and get anxious in the process. So it is important for every trans person to educate those known to him about trans issues. This will slowly lead to a change at the level of society and also strengthen his/her sense of identity as a trans man or woman.

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For trans women, looking masculine can really take a toll on mental health and overall happiness. The persons around you may knowingly or unknowingly refer to you as "he" or "him" simply because of the way you look. But a beard, large arms or flat chest doesn't make you any less of a woman than a girl with big boobs and broad hips. For personal reasons, you may opt to not get gender reassignment surgery and that is completely fine. It is your life and you should live it the best way you see fit. Here are a few ways to make yourself look less masculine without getting “the surgery”



Making Your Face Appear Less Masculine


If your face looks too masculine, people will assume you are a man. One way to beat this is by completely removing all facial hair, except for your eyebrows. Your eyebrows should be shaved, tweezed, waxed or plucked. After all, they are the frame of your face and can make or break your entire look. Makeup is a great option for making your skin appear smoother, highlighting certain features and hiding others. But be sure to buy quality brands and get a lot of practice before going out into the world. And, if done properly, there's no way to tell that you are a MTF trans woman. You can also grow out your hair or add extensions to feminize your face. The right hairstyle can make that chiseled face look less pronounced and improve your overall appearance.



Making Your Hands Appear Less Masculine


When you look at or feel a woman's hands, generally they are smooth and soft to the touch. If you want to appear less masculine your hands are one part of the body that you must pay keen attention to. One way to make your hands appear less masculine is by moisturizing and conditioning the skin on your hands. This will over time soften the way your hands feel. Some great moisturizers are Coconut oil, Cocoa butter, Argan oil, and Jojoba oil. Another way to feminize your hands is by getting pedicures. Women are expected to have neat, attractive fingernails and by getting a pedicure the overall appearance of your hands will surely be less masculine. You may also get acrylic nails or gel polish styles that are in style now.


Lastly, jewelry is another way that is sure to make your hands appear less masculine. From rings to bracelets to bangles, there is an unlimited supply of jewelry that you can choose from in many different shapes, sizes, colors and designs at varied price points.



Wearing Feminine Clothes


Wearing feminine clothes is a big step in any trans woman's life. The right clothes can boost your confidence and make the people around you more accepting of you. Dresses, skirts, and heels are great options but if you are shy, try feminine jeans or blouses. There are many other ways to make yourself appear less masculine without having gender reassignment surgery. Hopefully, these tips help!



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Eventually, your next step for legal transition will be to change your gender marker. Now, this part is significantly more difficult and varies wildly from state to state. Some states are relatively simple, while others are a right pain in the butt. For example, I am very privileged to have done all this in Minnesota, which has one of the more trans-friendly laws regarding gender change. For me, I had to consult with a physician about my gender identity and present a document from her verifying that she believes my gender identity to be valid (though ironically, the Judge presiding over my case didn't even ask for it! Don't gamble on that though ), alongside dotting my I's and crossing my t's of course. I got it changed on my social security card, my birth certificate, and my photo ID.




Unfortunately, not every gender change is going to be that simple. A lot of states require that you undergo gender reassignment surgery before you are allowed to change your name, which is both cost-prohibitive for many, but also not something that every trans person wishes to undergo. Some states will also require that your gender change is noted on your birth certificate (mine did not, thankfully). Of course, knowing how the United States can often treat trans people, it should not be surprising at all to find out that a few states are not interested in trans rights beyond seeing the advance of these rights as a threat.


In Kansas, Ohio, and Tennessee, a person cannot change the gender on their birth certificate to match their gender. In all three, however, a person may still change the gender on their driver's license just by having a notice from their physician verifying their gender identity. Kansas has laws that prevent changes to a birth certificate other than minor changes, and Tennessee is the only state to specifically bar trans people from changing their gender marker.


It's not all bad though, because at least driver's license gender change laws are significantly less stringent. Unfortunately, you will still have to deal with some rigmarole depending on your state. Luckily, states generally do not require SRS in order to get the gender marker changed on your driver's license, meaning that you will still be able to present as your gender in public if you can't change it on your birth certificate. The conflict with states not allowing birth certificate changes can present complications, however; for instance, if you were born in Ohio and moved to Kentucky, Kentucky law requires that your driver's license's marker match your birth certificate's.


While we are admittedly in a bit of a sour spot in history for trans people with the election of Donald Trump to the presidency and setbacks on trans rights, trans people have seen many legal victories in recent years. For example, before April of this year, Idaho was alongside Kansas, Ohio, and Tennessee in denying trans people the right to change their gender marker on their birth certificate. However, a subsequent lawsuit and decision by an Idaho District Court Judge resulted in Idaho law being changed to the effect that trans people's request to change their gender marker is not automatically denied anymore. Not only that, but SRS is not required, and neither is a notation of the gender having been changed. There are lawsuits against other such laws, including Ohio, so we may well see laws relaxed.


Because of the complexity of laws regarding changing your gender, such an article cannot and should not be used as your sole source of information. In order to get a proper understanding of your state's laws, check out here... Changing Birth Certificate Gender Designations: State-By-State Guidelines.

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In a quest to live happier lives, and make their bodies more congruent with their gender identity; some transgender people undergo specific medical treatments. There is an overwhelming consensus in the medical community that transition-related care is medically necessary for any Trans individual. While this care is considered life-saving and even critical for many trans people, not everyone needs medical care to live their desired life. There are various medical treatments do trans people available based on individual needs, and in this blog post, we will be exploring hormone therapy.



Hormone Therapy





Hormone therapy for Trans people causes the development of many of the secondary sexual characteristics of their desired sex. Even so, this therapy cannot reverse many of their existing primary and secondary sexual features. For instance, Hormone Therapy can induce breast growth for MTF, but can only slightly reduce breast for FTM. It can prompt facial hair growth for trans men but cannot regress facial hair for MTF, and so on. However, hormone therapy can reverse some secondary characteristics, such as the distribution of body fat, muscle, and even menstruation in trans men.



Masculinizing Treatments

For Trans men, practitioners use testosterone therapy for masculinizing treatments. Some of its effects can be increased muscle mass, hair loss, thicker vocal cords, and thicker skin. In contrast, estrogen and anti-androgen therapy are used for feminizing treatments. Estrogen alone is insufficient to suppress androgen, and this explains the call for anti-androgen medications.


In general, surgery is required to obtain satisfactory physical characteristics in most trans people. Upon cessation of hormonal treatment, those traits reverse unless chemical or surgical castration has occurred. However, in trans men, some hormonally-induced changes may become virtually irreversible within weeks. Trans women, on the other hand, usually have to take hormones for many months before they can see any irreversible change.



Conclusion

Different transgender people may need different types of transition-related care. For more information on other medical procedures available, see our blog on Chest Reconstruction Surgery and Face Feminization Surgery.



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