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Trans People Trying to Find Love

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Sep 21 | By Serenity | Views: 156 | Comments: 0
Trans People Trying to Find Love

Trans people find partners the same ways that cis-people do; we put ourselves into places where possible partners are present. Sometimes we do this on purpose and sometimes it just happens. It's important to note that where you live or hang out matters. Openly transgender people have a much easier time meeting dating partners in more progressive places. Urban works better than rural in general, though I'm sure that there are exceptions. You can always try online, though truth be told it's never worked particularly well for me, compared to just getting to know people face to face and naturally.


Guys who go looking for people to date and then try to treat them like they're in a live-action porno are never going to get good results, no matter whether they date cis women, trans women, or even cis gay guys. (Unless you're into that kind of role-play, in which case, get down with your bad self. You do you. But let the other person know at the outset that that's what you two -- or more! -- are doing). Men and trans women need safe spaces to date where they can confidently claim their identities and connect with partners who value and appreciate that they’re transgender. This is something that is so, so hard to talk about. It’s something has remained unspoken, yet incredibly real, between us, as it does between so many trans women and the men they date.


Trans women find men to date the same way any women do; some hang out in bars. Some meet them in other social groups where they overlap with friends and friends-of-friends. Some join trans dating sites. The big problem for trans women isn't finding a man to date, it's wondering if he's still going to treat her like a human being after he finds out she's trans. There is an entire subculture, called "chasers" by the trans community, who fetishize and are deeply excited by the thought of dating a transgender woman. Some trans women date chasers (the less creepy end of the spectrum). Many find them to be really off-putting. Imagine someone who only wants to have intercourse with you because of the color of your eyes, or the precise way your elbow looks -- you get to bed with them and all they want to do is rhapsodize about one aspect of your anatomy, instead of having intercourse with you as a person.


The good thing about chasers is they're less likely (not completely, but less) to beat you to death when they see what you have in your underwear. It's depressing that even has to count as a good thing. When and how to disclose is a whole fraught ballet she has to go through in her head with every potential guy she likes. If you are going to go the online route then you should start with TransSingle. Assuming you are looking for love and not a 1-night stand we are the best transgender dating site. We do a great job of really breaking down the gender groups so that you can find exactly what you are looking for. Our site also provides a good culture that makes it comfortable for everyone.



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