Establishing Trust in Trans Woman Dating and Relationships from Serenity's blog

Trust is the most important aspect of any relationship. Mutual trust can make a relationship beautiful and meaningful over time but the lack of it can make any romantic association go down the winding path. A trans woman is a special creature in the sense that her trust has been betrayed multiple times. A cis woman might have had it rough as well in relationships. But for a trans woman, it’s a different ball game altogether. Her life story is full of mental and psychological cuts and bruises. It’s not just her ex-lovers though who have broken her trust or hurt her badly. She has to face the hatred and censure of the entire society because of her identity. Her friends, neighbours, family, all have hurt her sensibilities at a certain point in time.

So, if you have just started dating her through a trans girl dating site or a transsexual dating site, you got to realize that a slow and steady path is just the right approach. Someone who wants to win the love and trust of a trans woman has to gently heal all her past wounds. And then she would slowly but surreptitiously transform into a magical, fairy-like creature, her eyes shining with love for her partner. Trans woman dating is certainly not easy but it’s a wonderful experience. She is a super-strong creature. And that’s a part of her appeal. She has been hurt and wronged so many times and yet, she hasn’t lost her faith in the possibility of love. She is scared, traumatized and a bit unsure maybe, but she still looks for love everywhere. And once you build that level of trust with her, she would reciprocate your love with the utmost sincerity and devotion.

You seemed to have met the woman of your life through a transgender dating site and now you just want to take things forward. This article lists out a couple of points that would help you understand how to go about establishing trust in trans woman dating and relationships.

Be Committed to Your Trans Woman

Commitment doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go out of your way to prove something. It just means that one has to treat their partner with utmost dignity and respect. It doesn’t have to be larger than life gestures. On the contrary, it is the little things that matter most. When you plan out a date with your trans woman, make it a point to be always punctual or even before time. Do discuss the future of your relationship with her every now and then. Tell her about your plans for the future. This will instill a level of trust and confidence in her that you see the relationship as something serious and long term.

Show genuine interest in her life. Listen to her attentively when she tells you excitedly about her hobbies and achievements. And just be there for her when she tells you all about her fears and insecurities. Love is not just about the nice things, after all. It is about sharing everything together and that includes both the good and the bad. Once your trans woman truly feels that you care for her from the core of your heart, she will give you her trust lovingly and willingly.

Stay Faithful to Her

Loyalty is an important aspect of any relationship. Even if you are dating a cis woman, she would expect you to be loyal and faithful.  She would obviously want that as her boyfriend, your romantic interests are reserved exclusively for her. It’s just the same in trans girl dating. You have to be faithful to your trans woman partner. And once she becomes sure of your exclusive commitment and affection for her, winning her trust won’t be difficult.

On the contrary, if you are routinely unfaithful to her and frequently lie in order to cover up your mistakes, all hell will break loose. A trans woman is a super intuitive creature. Because of her past experiences, she has learnt the art of seeing through people and their pretences. So, you cannot bluff her for long. A trans woman is a beautiful creature inside out. She is an embodiment of femininity and love. So, if you are faithful to her and treat your relationship with the sincerity and devotion it so deserves, she will begin to trust you eventually.

Do Give Her Some Personal Space

Two people in a relationship spend a lot of time together. And that is so important for taking the relationship forward. But we all are individuals at the end of the day. In trans girl dating, you have to realize that your trans woman also has her own set of interests and ideas to pursue. So, you shouldn’t make her feel as if you are infringing on her personal space. Everybody has a sense of personal space. Some people like to be left alone when they are working on something. Others need some time by themselves every now and then just to recharge their creative and emotional energies. So, you have to respect that personal space of your trans woman and just let her be. Because if she feels like you are on her nerves all the time, she is just going to freak out. And this is not good news from the point of view of winning her trust.

Giving somebody personal space doesn’t just translate into leaving them alone when they want to be left alone. It also implies that you don’t constantly pester them to speak up on things they don’t want to talk about. Maybe you are just literally dying to know about her views on something. But perhaps she is in a different time frame. So don’t get obsessive and irritate her. Just give her some space.

In trans woman dating or any kind of dating, giving the partner some space can be super beneficial for the relationship in long run. In such a relationship, there is a greater degree of mutual understanding and respect. Also, there are no insecurities and jealousies. Insecurities crop up when you try to own the other person all the time. But if you and your trans woman realize and appreciate the fact that you two also have a life outside of your relationship, then your love and commitment get even stronger.

Be Honest in Your Intentions

Honesty is the building block of any relationship. When you’ve met somebody through a trans dating site or a transgender dating app and want to take things forward, it’s obvious that they want to figure out if your intentions are genuine. Your trans woman wants to know if you are looking for a serious long-term relationship or just a fling. Your interest in her has to be genuine. If you are just interested in her because of her looks or because you are fascinated by the fact that she is trans, she will see through your pretences right away. You cannot treat her like a fetish. Only if you are genuinely interested in her as a woman, she will reciprocate your interest and trust you.

So even as you are talking to a trans woman through a trans woman dating site or a trans dating app, just ask yourself this honest question. Are you genuinely interested in dating her or are you just curious about her identity? If you are confused about what you actually want, it’s better to back out or go real slow than hurt the other person. A trans woman has a history of guys being disrespectful to her or treating her as some kind of fetish. So please don’t jump onto that bandwagon. Take things forward only if you are honestly interested in knowing her as a person.

It’s just liked any other relationship. The woman you are dating wants to be valued for what she is and not for her looks, money, position or status. With a trans woman, there is an added possibility that some guys just want to date her because they want to know how it is like to be with a trans woman. That is just rude and disrespectful. She is a woman like any other, not an object of enquiry. So, in trans woman dating, the most important step towards winning the trust of your partner is that you have to be absolutely honest in your intentions.

You Got to Value Your Relationship

Mutual trust comes through only when both partners truly value their relationship. Valuing a relationship doesn’t mean that you try to impress your trans woman with sweet and romantic words day and night that how much you love her and all that. Sweet words come to nothing unless they are aided by concrete action. You have to invest time and energy in your relationship. Your trans woman has to get the feeling that she is a priority for you. Only then will she give you her love and trust.

In trans girl dating or trans woman dating, valuing a relationship means that you are constantly attentive towards the needs and desires of your partner. It means that you are always making new and exciting plans to make them happy, to bring a smile to their face. Valuing your trans woman means that it’s not a big deal for you to take a day off work and be by her side when she is not feeling well. Surprise her every now and then with a gift, chocolates, flowers or with tickets for her favourite movie. It isn’t about how much money you spend. It’s about the kind of time you are investing in your relationship and the effort you are making to make your trans woman feel special and loved.

Love is not rocket science. If you trans woman feels truly loved and valued, then she will certainly give you her trust and love with all her heart.