Things to be Mindful about When Dating as a Transgender

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Sep 22 '20 | By Serenity | Views: 899 | Comments: 0
Things to be Mindful about When Dating as a Transgender

Dating someone is one of the most beautiful experiences of life. We look forward to waking up, taking care of ourselves, and take on the day with an infectiously positive spirit. Our lives are perhaps incomplete without the admiration and approval of someone we have a crush on. While it’s important to not have your self-worth depend on someone else’s opinions, we are human after all. Having someone we like notice us back makes the day worth it.


Dating as a transgender has become relatively easier now. You don’t have to meet someone through friends and acquaintances to get a prospective date. There are so many dating sites and apps for transgender people. At the mere click of a mouse, you can start communicating with potential love interests. And then at some point of time, you can set up a real date with someone you are getting along well with.


When that girl or boy of your dreams finally says yes to a date, it’s easy to be super euphoric and get carried away! While you deserve every bit of that happiness and adrenalin rush, it’s important to keep some things in mind in order to make that first date special. There is no manual really but still, there are certain rules and laws of dating behaviour and etiquette that you should follow.

 

This article tells you about a few tips that you should follow while dating as a transgender person.



Make Sure Your Date Knows You Are Transgender


This is most important. Make sure your date knows in advance that you are a transgender person. If you are dating through a trans dating site, they would probably know anyways. But a lot of trans people also date through regular dating sites. On these forums, it is sometimes difficult for the other person to figure out your identity unless you tell them categorically. So make it a point to tell them that you are transgender before you even start talking online.


Some trans people think that revealing their identity early on might prejudice someone against dating them. So they keep it a secret, waiting for the right time. But that’s not a fair approach. Your potential partner has every right to know about your identity. This kind of gamble is also not healthy for your dating scenario. The world is full of transphobic people. Even if you get along really well with someone, their behaviour might totally change once they know that you are transgender. It’s also putting your personal safety at risk. You don’t want to be harassed and abused by someone you meet for a date. So before you plan a date with someone, make sure they know that you are transgender.


Only when you are certain that they don’t have any issue with your identity, should you go ahead with seeing them on a date.



Have Positive Vibes


When you are meeting someone for the first time, it’s important to be pleasant and cheerful. You don’t know how it’s going to be. They don’t know how it will turn out. What matters is the moment. Just enjoy your date, be happy and make it pleasant for them as well.


Meeting someone in real life is totally different from chatting with them through a transsexual dating app. So just be your natural self and go with the flow. There is nothing as irresistible as natural chemistry built over real life meetings. It’s the kind of chemistry that gives you goosebumps and butterflies in the stomach. Maybe, you develop that equation with your date. Maybe, you don’t. There is no way to know in advance. So just relax and be comfortable.


Also, remember to smile! It can really make the other person’s day and put them at ease. Meeting your potential boyfriend or girlfriend with a frown on your face is not exactly the stuff of dreams. So wear that infectious smile and your date will be certainly drawn to your aura.



Communicate With Confidence


Great communication skills are an asset for anyone. The art of having a good conversation becomes especially useful during a date. Think of topics that are mutually interesting and then weave a conversation around those. Do not jump from one topic to another at your whim. Some of us have a habit of getting carried away when we talk, so much so that we completely forget the other person and just go on ranting. Don’t do that on a date!


That’s why it’s important to be a good listener. In fact, listening is a part of great communication skills. Listen with interest whatever your date is saying and then take the conversation from there. This will make the conversation interesting and also help build chemistry between the two of you.


When you are talking to each other, just think you are friends. That would make the whole thing easier. If we are too conscious about the dating thing all the time, it can hamper our ease and confidence. So just relax and have a chat around topics you are passionate about.



Don’t Expect Too Much


Do not expect a Romeo and Juliet kind of love story on the first date itself. Just take it easy. The first time you are meeting someone, it’s more like meeting a friend. Only when you get comfortable with someone and can have a decent conversation with them, you can begin to think about other things. So have realistic expectations from your date. Don’t expect them to fall head over heels in love with you. That’s probably not going to happen. If the two of you feel interested enough in each other after the date to meet a second time, that’s probably the best you can achieve.


It is also possible that the date is not going on that well and you’ve realized that. Still, it’s important to just stay cool and be civil. It’s not the end of your life. Enjoy the moment while you are there and then just coolly walk your way. However, there are certain places where you have to draw some boundaries. If your date is rude to you, it’s time to just walk away without a word. Do not get into arguments because that’s just going to create a scene. Just coolly walk off.


Expectations ruin the best of things. So even if your date has ended rather well, do not expect too much. If you will be seeing your potential love interest for a second time, look forward to it. But don’t make it the sole motto of your life. Concentrate on other things and be just cool and calm.



Know the Basics of Dating Etiquette


There are some basics of dating etiquette that you got to follow. These are fairly general and pretty obvious things that we often tend to overlook. When are dating someone in a restaurant or a café, do not go on a complaining spree. There are people to tend to find a fault with something everywhere they go. The food is not good, the service is bad, you don’t like the décor of the restaurants, stay away from all those irrational and irritating complaints.


Complaining incessantly about a restaurant’s staff or service during a date is just going to ruin your date. It will give your partner the impression that you are a grumpy and bad-tempered person. So do not indulge in that kind of drama.


Another important thing to remember is that you shouldn’t be over open and trustworthy during your date. Some people have a habit of getting so worked up that they confess everything about themselves to the other person during the first meeting itself. Do not do that. Be a bit secretive and mysterious. Be candid about your conversation but do not reveal too much about your personal life. Keep the talk centered on topics of general interest. Do not approach subjects too personal or controversial. It’s a good practice to refrain from revealing too much about your past relationships. You shouldn’t ask your date probing questions about their personal life as well.


When you are meeting someone for the first time, never ever start talking about the subject of physical love. That will just freak out your date and they will probably think you’re just desperate to get laid. Keep all that stuff for later on. During the first date, just keep it old-fashioned, classic, and simple.


The dating etiquette code equally applies to the other person. If they ask you too many inappropriate questions about your transgender identity, just tell them politely but firmly that they need to maintain certain boundaries. If you feel vulnerable at any point of time, feel free to just walk away. If at any point during the date, you feel that the other person is not sure about your transgender identity, just tell them categorically again. Even if you have communicated it before, there is no harm in telling again. This is the most crucial aspect of your relationship. Your partner has to be comfortable with your identity.


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