en

Becoming Rain

Home Blogs > Transgender Learning
Oct 9 '18 | By RainingFire | Views: 11 | Comments: 0
Becoming Rain
Hello everyone! My name is Rain Nicole and welcome to my blog. Where I tell you about my past and experiences as well as the details of becoming Rain Nicole. So pull up a chair, eat some popcorn and drink a soda. Thanks for reading.


Let's talk about my discovery form a moment. I discovered that I was trans on March 7th of 2017. Which is stupid because the details were there since I was 12! So 9 years! I still can't believe it flew under my radar. I never had body dysphoria until I discovered it. I just accepted this as my body, this was my life, These were the cards I were dealt and I had the choice. I could either fold, or I can play the game and try to win the whole pot! Sorry, little poker metaphor there for you. But it's still true, but one card wasn't what it seemed to be. 


Ever since I knew what sex was, all of my fantasies have been me as a woman with a man. 


Before then, I always felt jealous for my older sisters. They were beautiful and energetic and strong and I was not.

I was jealous of what they wore!

I even stole their high heels from time to time, determined to learn how to walk in them!

I caught myself saying "I'm a girl." hardly above a whisper from time to time.

I said on multiple occasions that if reincarnation was real, I would come back as a girl so I got the full experience.

I always played and role played as females in games because I was comfortable in those mindsets. Being male in a game or in a story.. Was so alien to me. I could not do it! especially role plays that involved intimacy. In those situations, playing the submissive female was always my favorite. 

And on multiple occasions where I thought about suicide, it was often followed up with the thought of: "Hey, I'd be reincarnated as a girl sooner if I did!" Which is dumb. (Side message, Guys and girls, if you are plotting your own death, get some help. Call 1-800-273-8255 for the suicide help line. Much love. You're strong, and I am with you! One step at a time)


Those were all thoughts I had before my discovery. After wards.. I immediately fell into a deep hole of denial. I didn't want to believe that this.. Was my reality. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I had to learn quickly that I had to love that fact about myself or fall somewhere mentally that there would be no coming back from. I chose to love myself and I took this one step at a time.


I talked with my step mom and got a visit to a psychiatrist. Only one visit. I talked about all those things I just mentioned above,  and apparently, I light up when I talk about Rain Nicole and becoming a girl. Facts I never knew.. Odd how details about ourselves can fly so under our radar.


I also took voice lessons in an online transgender group for a full year. And I am confident when I apply those practices that I can pass as female vocally not a problem!


The only thing I have yet to really get into is clothing.. My discovery came at such a pour time, because I had finally found a male clothing style that I liked, that I can be happy being seen in.... And now I got to find a female style!? Are you f****ing kidding me! Ahem. Pardon my French... I am looking forward to it though, and perhaps it'll come easier than male did.


Anyway, I think this concludes Part 2 of my Blog. Thanks for reading! I do enjoy writing these! if you have any questions about me or my discovery, feel free to PM me or leave it in a comment! perhaps something you are wondering is something someone else is wondering! Bye ya'll!

No comments
You need to sign in to comment

Advertisement

Ads