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Dating can be a tricky business. It’s like taking a chance with somebody and then trying and figuring out if the two of you share a common language. It’s like going for a long boat ride with a complete stranger and then gradually fathom that stranger. Romance, passion, understanding; you will have a lot of such expectations from that stranger. But it takes a while to figure out how it will turn out. However, if you are enamoured by a FTM transgender guy and can’t wait to date him, things can be even more challenging.


While dating a FTM trans guy, you can’t just take anything for granted. And if you have only dated cis guys before, this is definitely new terrain for you. You are nervous, excited, everything. However, if you follow a couple of tips while dating a FTM transgender guy, you are going to be alright. If you are lucky, then maybe not just alright but you are totally going to rock in your new founded quest for love!



FTM Trans Guys are Unique and Different


Now just because you are dating a FTM transgender guy, that does not mean you can assume that all transgender guys are carbon copies of each other. You cannot just read stuff about FTM trans guys from the internet and then uncritically apply it to your man.


It’s not that straightforward. Just like all other guys, they come from different backgrounds. Their race, religion, culture, etc. is bound to influence their personalities and behavioural patterns, pretty much as it happens in the case of everyone else.


So, you have to treat your trans guy as a unique person with a distinct individuality and try and figure him out naturally and organically. However, it is also important to realize that all FTM trans guys have different transitioning periods. His transitioning period has a massive impact on his behaviour and moods. You have to keep that in mind while dating a trans guy.


Having said that, you have to walk that tightrope between understanding his nuances and yet, treating him like a regular guy. You have to understand that your trans guy’s sexual, romantic, social and emotional needs are going to be the same as anyone else. The need for optimal emotional and sexual fulfilment in a relationship, the craving for romance, all these expectations are natural in any relationship. But at the same time, you need to consider that his needs might be different from the cis guys you have dated before.



Be Prepared to Face Labels and Stereotypes About Your Relationship


Now, this can be a bit tricky to handle. But with a bit of maturity and understanding, you can get past this phase. Since you are dating a FTM trans guy, it is quite possible that others will judge your relationship. They might label you as ‘gay’. That’s just the ‘not so favourable’ baggage that comes with dating a trans guy and you have to learn to handle it.


It is natural that you might get terribly angry at people labelling your sexuality just because of your partner’s identity. It will seem cruel and insensitive. But you have to learn to live with it. You cannot change societal perceptions overnight. But with a bit of tolerance, you can totally prevent it from affecting you or your relationship.


You just have to remember that any relationship is an intimate and beautiful bond between the people concerned. As long as you and your trans guy are discovering love, passion and emotional intensity in your relationship, you shouldn’t be bothered by anyone else’s opinion on it.



You Have to be Prepared to Support Your Trans Guy


This can be the most challenging and yet the most beautiful part of your relationship. And it is no different from any other relationship. Everyone has certain issues, some vulnerabilities that need to be addressed. We all are incomplete in ourselves which is precisely why we need a relationship. There are times when we need to constantly hear,’ hey you are wonderful. You are the best.


It is pretty much the same with your FTM trans guy. Transitioning is a challenging business. It takes up a lot of his mental and emotional energy. So, it is natural that it can create abrupt mood swings and emotional issues that only a loving partner can address.


Coming out in the open as a transgender guy can be daunting. There are times when the families of trans guys are outrightly hostile towards them. That is why it is so important for you to support your transgender man.



Make Him Feel Great About His Masculinity


Being a FTM trans guy comes with a lot of in-built expectations. And sometimes, these expectations can take a toll on your trans man’s mental and emotional health. That is why it is so important for you to make him feel great about his body, his sexuality and his masculinity.




The masculine feel is very important for a FTM trans guy. Even after transitioning, he faces the constant pressure to appear masculine and macho in a certain way. Therefore, as a partner, you need to constantly compliment him on his masculine appearance, his clothes, maybe that tough macho look in his eyes, his specific body odour that makes you go haywire.


If his quest for the ultimate manliness is supported and adored by his partner, nothing else can make him happier on earth.



Communicate and Find out What Turns Him On


Communication is paramount to any relationship. And especially when you are dating a transgender guy, it becomes even more important. You cannot just presume things that he will enjoy this or that. Make sure you have a candid conversation about what turns him on, what are his sexual needs.


He might have a certain grey area you should probably avoid while getting intimate with him. But there is no way you are going to figure that out unless you ask. For example, some FTM transgender guys might not enjoy certain sexual contact that is normative for female-bodied folk. You have to understand that transitioning is a tough battle physically and mentally. So, he might even be uncomfortable and nervous about certain aspects of the female anatomy. Again, there is no magic wand that is going to make you realize all of this. The only key is one on one, candid communication with your transgender guy.


And it is ultimately the same as any other relationship. Every partner has some preferences, some things they like while getting intimate, certain things they don’t like. Intimacy cannot be built by racing along a dark alley! You have to take it forward slowly and gently, figuring out your partner’s needs and likes along the way. And all that is going to make intimacy even more beautiful and worthwhile.



Do Not Obsess Over His Trans Identity


This is the most important tip to remember while dating a FTM transgender guy. You know that your partner is transgender and accordingly, there are certain things that you will keep in mind. All that is great. But at the end of the day, you have to treat him the way you would any other cis guy. No one likes being made acutely conscious of their identity again and again. That is rude and disrespectful. So, you have to take your relationship forward in a natural and organic manner. When you are out with him when the two of you are talking or having a great time together, reminding him of his ‘trans’ identity all the time is just not cool. And it’s even irritating for him.


You have to figure out your trans guy’s unique needs very subtly and gently. But that does not mean that the sole defining point of the relationship is that he is ‘trans’. You have to take it forward like any other romantic relationship. Candlelight dinners, evenings in the pub, walk on the moonlit beach, a quiet movie date at his place or your place, all the usual stuff that relationships are made of.



Do not Ask Him Uncomfortable Questions About His Past Life


Transitioning is not easy, as it is. It is like discarding an old life and embracing a new one that you have always wanted. When your trans guy is focusing all his physical and mental energies on being the complete man, the last thing he wants is uncomfortable personal questions that take him back to his past life.


Honesty is certainly a key to any good relationship. But there are certain boundaries. And you cannot breach those boundaries unless and until the other person is willing. Maybe, at some point in time, he will himself open up about his past life. He might himself make you a confidante in his life history. But that is for him to decide. Just because you are dating him, you cannot keep on asking your trans guy uncomfortable questions about his past life.


Just let him be. If he has to share something with you, he will by himself. Take things forward slowly and gently.

 

     

 


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The popularity of a transgender dating site has risen dramatically over the past couple of years. A lot of these dating sites are open to both trans and cis folks. Joining a trans dating site is an excellent way to look for your soul mate. You can end up meeting someone with who you want to be in a serious relationship or simply meet a diverse set of interesting people from all over the world.

As a cisgender person, joining a trans dating site is going to open up your mind to different kinds of worldviews. You will get out of your narrow comfort zone and learn to appreciate beauty and diversity in a more wholesome sort of way.

A transgender dating site is a perfect place for finding your soul mate. Especially if you are an introvert and would be terribly shy of approaching anyone in person randomly at a café or a bar, then a trans dating site is just the right thing for you. You can talk to many people without having to worry about the embarrassment of having to talk face to face. Of course, you are going to speak face to face and have a proper date if you do meet an interesting trans woman or man out there. But when you are in the initial phase of just connecting with people, you can do so while keeping your privacy and reserve intact.

A transgender dating site is many things together. And there are numerous benefits of joining one. This article is going to list a few of them:



You Have a Better Chance of Meeting Like-Minded People

When you are trying to meet your potential love interest offline, your options are limited. The maximum you would do is meet someone interesting at a café or a bar, a friend’s party or a public event in your city. You can of course meet people randomly and end up talking to them but the chances of that happening are totally dependent on fate!

But if you join a transgender dating site, you can view profiles of interesting people from all over the world at the click of a mouse. When you have the chances of communicating with such a diverse set of people, then the chances of meeting someone like-minded increase manifold. Your options are not so limited by fate or chance.



You Have the Advantage of Multitasking

Now, this is a fairly practical advantage of joining a trans dating site. On a dating site, you can zero down on a number of profiles that interest you and talk to many people simultaneously.

This kind of multitasking is not quite possible when you are looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend offline. There are practical limitations of time and space online and there is no technology at your disposal so you can just talk to one person at a time.

If you have a busy schedule, dating can seem to be very time-consuming. You are so busy with your work that you’d rather postpone dating than having to find a partner offline! A trans dating site with its advantage of multi-tasking is just the right thing for you.



No Fear of Judgment

When a man tries to talk to a random woman he feels attracted to at a party or a public event, that woman might just totally ignore him or think of him as a stalker. This can be a huge put off for any man looking for a potential love interest offline.

Unless he takes the chance of interacting with unknown women, how does he look for his soul mate? One can of course meet people through friends but then that again is a very limited set of people. When you are looking for a love interest, you really need to be able to communicate with a lot of people. It is after a lot of hits and trial that you can be with someone you feel connected to.

On a trans dating site, there is no fear of that kind of judgment. The whole purpose of a dating site is well, dating! So, you can talk to as many people as you like without the fear of being labelled creepy. Everyone out there has a common goal. They are looking for someone to date. And so, everyone is willing to take chances and connect with many people. That is again a drawback in real life. When you are trying to talk to somebody, how do you get to know if they are even looking for love or not? I mean, of course, you can ask them but you can’t do that straight away right. Maybe, a person just has a friendly attitude overall and you mistake it for flirting.

On a transgender site, there is no space for that kind of confusion. Everyone is out there for dating. If you are chatting with someone and you think it’s going somewhere, you can pretty much ask them straightforward questions to avoid confusion or disappointment later on.



You Meet a Person Only When You are Ready

This is a big advantage of dating through a trans dating site. There is no time limit. You can communicate with a person for a fairly long period of town without facing any pressure of having to meet them.

On a transgender dating site, you can build up your rapport with a person slowly and organically. Get to know their interests, hobbies, and their worldview. Talk to them regularly over a period of time. And if and when the two of you feel it’s the right time, you guys go out on a date in real life. There is no pressure to do so quickly. In real life, it’s the opposite. You spot someone at a café or a bar or a friend’s party, get insanely attracted to them and ask for their phone number. If you are lucky and you do get that number, you end up going on dates after casual texting.

This is so not the right approach for a serious relationship. This sort of thing can lead to flings but not necessarily a relationship. It’s like you two have started seeing each other before you even figure out what the two of you have in common. And if you guys don’t really have anything in common, then the thing just collapses and you both realize it was a waste of time.

A trans dating site follows the good old school model of dating in a way. It gives you the chance to figure out a person and evaluate them before the two of you meet in real life.



A Trans Dating Site is Great for All Personality Types

The so-called real world is full of judgmental people. If you are a transgender person, it gets almost impossible to look for a partner offline. There is fear of social judgment, discrimination and even violence at times. That’s precisely why a trans dating site is a safe place for transsexual people to look for their soul mate without the fear of societal disapproval.

A trans dating site is not just for transgender people though. It is open to all sorts of people – cis folk, bisexuals, people who are ambivalent about their gender identity, etc. It is a diverse and liberating universe in the true sense of the world. A trans dating site gives all personality types a chance to look for love.



A Trans Dating Site Protects Your Privacy

Sometimes, a transgender person can be vulnerable to abuse even online. In such a scenario, a foolproof mechanism for protecting one’s identity becomes very important. When you register on a trans dating site, you can choose to give out only that much information about yourself as you desire.


You can of course upload photos and videos of yourself to attract a potential love interest. But you can also limit the pictures and other details that are visible online.

A trans dating site gives you a lot of autonomy in terms of controlling what personal information you share and with whom you share it. In conventional dating, it’s difficult to control that kind of thing. You meet someone in real life, get carried away and that makes you more vulnerable to potential harm. It’s possible that you got so carried away that you gave your phone number and even address to the other person right away.

A trans dating site can save you from that kind of scenario. Here, things are totally under your control. You are not meeting someone in real life, to begin with. You are checking out thousands of profiles that are registered on the site. And from there, you choose a few profiles and start chatting. But you are chatting with them online, not meeting face to face. So, there is little chance of getting carried away.

On a trans dating site, you can be a little bit objective about the whole dating thing, especially in the initial phase. You can protect your personal information and this saves you from any potential harm or trouble.

   

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A long-distance relationship is always a tricky proposition. Spending time together is crucial for strengthening the relationship, at least during the early stages. A long-distance relationship in such a scenario can cause confusion, agony and even a feeling of detachment from your partner. Even in transgender dating, a long-distance relationship has its own challenges.

But that doesn’t mean these challenges cannot be overcome. If the two of you are genuinely in love, you can together overcome these temporary obstacles. The important thing is for you to stay constantly connected despite the distance and to find new ways and means to express your love and desire for each other.

In trans dating, if a long-distance relationship stands the test of time, it is a beautiful feeling. It means that the two of you are really meant for each other. But that doesn’t mean you can leave the success of your long-distance relationship to destiny or fate. The two of you have to constantly work on it and first of all convince yourself that despite the distance, you are going to make it work.

Here are a few tips that can help you make your long-distance relationship a success despite the distance.



Communicate with your Partner Before you Leave

In transsexual dating, one of the scenarios is that the two of you were located in one place when you started dating. But then for work commitments or other reasons, one of you had to relocate to some other city. Now here is the catch. If it’s so important for you to move to another city, you have to discuss it with your partner before you leave.

The two of you are in a relationship that involves commitment and mutual trust. You can’t just casually inform your partner that you got to go because of so and so reason and just leave. You got to sit down and have a proper talk with your transgender partner. The two of you need to be on the same wavelength as far as your relocation plans are concerned. It is only after your partner is convinced that you should leave.

Trust is the building block of any relationship. And for a long-distance relationship, it becomes even more important since the two of you won’t be seeing each other for a long time. So, at the beginning of such a relationship, when either of you has to move elsewhere for whatever reason, it is very important that your partner supports you in this decision.

If you just leave without informing them properly or if they do not agree with this new structure of the relationship, then it will cause trouble in your relationship eventually.



Make Time for Each Other

This is the most important aspect of a long-distance relationship. In long-distance trans dating, the two of you have to be super committed towards communicating regularly. Distance is only an impediment as far as face-to-face communication is concerned but the two of you should be constantly in touch through phone and various social media platforms like WhatsApp, Instagram, etc.

Make it a point to talk to each other over the phone or Skype or any other live chat service at least once a day. If you have time to shower and have your meals and exercise and relax a bit, then you cannot be short of time to communicate with the love of your life. Even if you are super busy, talk to your partner before you hit the bed.

Try to stay in touch through cute little messages and emoticons even during the day. Even a simple ‘Hi baby, I miss you’ message on WhatsApp will bring a sweet and alluring smile on the face of your partner. Give them virtual hugs whenever you can. Ask them how their day is going. If your partner is working on an important project, they are super excited about, ask them how the project is progressing.

A long-distance transgender dating or relationship can be a blessing in disguise if you are constantly creating time for your partner, despite the distance. It shows them that you genuinely care for them and your love is real. Lovers talk about touching and plucking the moon and the stars to make the love of their life happy but if you manage to touch the heart of your transgender lover, they will be over the moon. If you take interest in their dreams, ambitions and goals on a day-to-day basis, they will feel you really value them in a more wholesome sort of a way.

And finally, there can never be a lack of time to kiss your lover virtually and say to them ‘I Love You’.



Use Technology to Make Your Communication Special

Lovers these days have the added advantage of technology! In long-distance trans dating, you should well utilize these exciting modes of communication. Gone are those days when being in a long-distance relationship meant you could at best talk over the phone or send love-soaked letters and greeting cards to your partners by post. Now with the help of technology, the two of you have the chance to talk to each other live, just like you would if you met face to face.

With new-age platforms like zoom, you could have a fabulous live dating experience! Set up your room with stunning lights, décor and some candlelight to add to the effect. Bring in some wine or champagne, get dressed to kill and then have a live date session with your lover through Zoom. Ask your lover to recreate a similar kind of setting and the two of you can have a fantastic time together, despite the distance.

You can even use other platforms like Skype to video call each other. And it doesn’t have to be live chatting all the time. If you went out with friends and would like to show off your party outfit to your transgender lover, just create a small video and send it to them! Use technology to surprise your lover every now and then. Send them flirty messages and pictures on trans dating apps when they are least expecting those. Use technology to keep the romance and fun in your relationship.



You need to have a Roadmap for Ending the Distance

For a long-distance relationship to survive there has to be light at the end of the tunnel. In long-distance transsexual dating, the partners need to have some sort of an understanding between themselves regarding when the distance will end.

The ideal way of going about it is to fix a timeline for getting back together when one of the partners is planning to leave. They have to shift to another town or city for some unavoidable reasons and that is ok. But it has to be clear that the long-distance cannot be there for an eternity. In a long-distance transgender relationship, the two of you got to sit together and agree upon a concrete timeline for ending the distance before either of you leaves.

And then during a long-distance relationship, the two of you need to constantly discuss your future plans together. How much time is left before you guys can be physically together? Sometimes circumstances change after a person has shifted to another city and there can be some fluctuation in the timeline for getting together that you had previously decided. That is ok too. But the important thing is the two of you should be equally focused on getting back together after a certain point in time.

A major reason behind the failure of long-distance relationships is the change in peoples’ priorities once they leave. If your partner is constantly wishy-washy about their plans to get together and they do not want to commit to any specific timeline, then it is not good for the relationship. After all, people put up with long-distance and lack physical intimacy only because of the hope of being together with the love of their life soon. Nobody wants their relationship to be long-distance forever!

So, for long-distance transsexual relationship to succeed, it is very important that your future plans are always a part of your conversation. You need to have a concrete vision with regard to your future life together and a proper timeline to execute it. And you need to keep reminding each other about that vision and keep a tab on the efforts they are making to get back. This would make the relationship more real and beautiful as you are taking practical steps to end the distance. Otherwise, it is like chasing thin air. Without any future in sight, even the most optimistic person can lose hope. So, it is important for you and your transgender love to lay out the future roadmap for ending the distance in a long-distance relationship.

   

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Emotional issues can crop up in any relationship. And if not resolved at the right time, these can ruin even the best of love stories. You have met the partner of your dreams through a transgender dating site or a transgender dating app. You look forward to the new chapter of your life. But this is only half the battle won. As you take your relationship forward, it gets very important to look out for any emotional issues that can potentially jeopardize your relationship.

Emotional issues in a transgender relationship don’t have a eureka moment! They just appear all of a sudden, out of nowhere. Not everybody is emotionally stable. In fact, most people struggle with some kind of emotional peculiarity. For example, some people are just too insecure about their looks all the time, there are others who smell a conspiracy behind literally everything and there are some who can be so self-obsessed that they tend to ignore their partner.

Whether you have met somebody through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating site, the first step towards resolving any of the emotional issues between you and your partner is to recognize that these issues exist.  These little emotional peculiarities and quirks that exist in every individual become issues over a period of time. But if you pay close attention to these typical behavioural patterns of your partner early on, then you can prevent these from becoming an issue.

After all, the best of relationships is built on a solid foundation of trust and communication. Once you have figured out the emotional issues that come up in your relationship, it is time to work proactively with your partner on resolving them. Here are some important tips that would help you identity existing emotional issues in your relationship and then work towards resolving them.



Dealing with an Emotionally Unstable Partner

Nobody wants to be with an emotionally unstable person. Dating an emotionally unstable person can damage your own mental health. If you have recently started dating someone you met through a trans dating site and you have realized that they have frequent mood swings, they get upset suddenly for no visible reason and could even get angry and abusive out of the blue, then you are dealing with an emotionally unstable person.

Well of course, when you are in love with someone, then you just want to ignore the nagging aspect of their behaviour and focus on positive things instead. After all, nobody wants to break their relationship just because of a particular personality trait of their partner.  So, to begin with, you should try and figure out ways to deal with your partner’s emotional instability. If you observe their behaviour closely, you might be able to figure out a pattern. Are there some specific things or topics that upset them? If you are lucky, avoiding those specific things might help resolve the issue altogether. But their emotional instability might be symptomatic of deep-seated unhappiness with their own self and what they have achieved in life. So, you can try and connect them with their positive side. Help them focus on their goals and ambitions. Make them feel loved and extra special. Well, this is true of any relationship but is especially applicable for people who have emotional problems due to pre-existing baggage. It could be their failed past relationships, troubled childhood, anything.  But love and nurturing can heal their wounds. And their emotional state would probably get more stable.

However, even after trying all this, if you still face problems and their emotional instability is becoming a source of concern for you and hindering your day-to-day life, you have to communicate this to them. The two of you have to talk it out. Everybody tries their best to maintain a relationship. But it cannot be at the cost of your mental peace.



Dealing with an Overtly Critical Partner

Mutual respect is very important for a relationship. And that involves being supportive of each other’s work and achievements.  But there are people whose favourite hobby seems to be no holds barred criticism and such people can be toxic for a relationship.

You started dating somebody through a trans dating site or a transgender dating app. And the two of you ended in a relationship. That’s definitely some great news! But if your partner constantly finds faults with everything you do and the way you, do it, then that’s not cool. We spend the maximum time with the person we are romantically involved with. So, it becomes even more important that our partner has a positive outlook towards our goals and achievements.

An overly critical partner can totally destroy one’s self-esteem. It can make a person doubtful about everything they do and in the worst-case scenario; they can even end up in depression. So as a rule of thumb, you should avoid dating someone who has a habit of commenting negatively on everything you do. Such people are plain toxic. If a person is emotionally unstable, you can still heal them with love. But a partner who finds faults in everything you do is most probably manipulative and toxic. They might just end up damaging you. So, it’s not worth the risk. In fact, a golden rule to follow is to be super cautious about self-obsessed people the moment you start chatting with prospective love interests through a transgender dating site or a transsexual dating app.

However, it is still very important to make efforts to resolve this issue. Try to talk it out with your partner. Communicate your concerns to them in a straightforward manner. A loving and caring partner will definitely try to make amends in their behaviour once they realize it’s not good for your emotional health. Try to understand their perspective as well. Maybe, they are just trying to motivate you to be your best version. You have to then tell them politely but firmly that they are going way too overboard with their criticism and that needs to stop. Set boundaries in your relationship. Your partner has to know when to stop. And if they truly value you and love you, they will understand your perspective and change their behaviour.



Dealing with a Self-Obsessed Partner

Now this one can be quite tricky. When you have just started dating someone through a transgender dating app or a transgender dating site, it is obvious that you want to give the maximum time to your newfound relationship. And you expect your partner to do the same. But what if you end up with someone who is way too self-obsessed? That can be damaging for your own self-esteem and for the relationship as well.

So do check out for the red flags early on in the relationship so that these issues can be resolved before it gets too late. If you have a partner who constantly talks about just themselves, their achievements, likes and dislikes, it can get a bit overwhelming. Self-love is good but self-obsession isn’t. When the two of you meet, there is no conversation. There is just this long monologue in which your trans partner is constantly talking about himself/herself and they are treating you like a dummy. When you make some plans, it’s all about their priorities. If they are busy, they will just cancel the plan at the last moment. But if you are busy, you have to adjust. When you are planning out where to go for a date, it’s always his choice. And you just have to agree.  Well, what I am trying to say is that it can be incredibly difficult to be with such a self-obsessed person.

So, you have to just communicate your concerns to your partner. They got to know your identity and self-respect are of utmost importance. The most important thing is for you to evaluate if the two of you are still in love. If someone is truly in love with you, they would not make you feel neglected and sidelined.



Dealing with an Emotionally Weak Person

An emotionally weak partner can be more of a liability than an asset in a relationship. They would constantly nag you with the most inconsequential of things. They would need you repeated reassurance about literally everything. If they had a bad day at work, it will affect them emotionally and they will expect you to get them out of it. If there is some problem at the workplace, they just won’t be able to handle it. They would just completely break down and expect you to get them out of this mess.

If you’ve started dating someone through a transsexual dating site or a transsexual dating app and they happen to fall under this category, then your life can get difficult. Well, emotionally weak people are not really bad people. They are not emotionally unstable either. They are just vulnerable. If they have a loving partner who is also emotionally strong and can protect them from all stress and worry, it can be a great thing for them. But maybe, it’s not a that great thing for you as an emotionally strong partner.

You do have your own life also at the end of the day. You got deadlines to fulfil, goals to accomplish and many other things to do. There are times when you just want to relax with your partner and not constantly having to act like an agony aunt who has to fix all their issues! An emotionally weak person can be mentally and emotionally draining. You don’t want your relationship to resemble babysitting in which your partner is the baby and you the babysitter!

So, if it’s getting too much for you to handle, talk it out with your partner. Set boundaries with them. Make it clear that there is a limit to which you can fix things for them. They have to learn to stand up for their own life and sort it out. If it still doesn’t work out, you could consider seeking the help of a relationship counsellor. You could even consider joining a transgender forum where you can communicate with like-minded people from the trans community and take their advice.
 

     

 


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Relationship partners of transgender-identified individuals have distinctive couple-related experiences that are important to understanding. The “Organizational Diversity” field concentrates studies on the experiences of groups that are different from the archetypal male, white, heterosexual, cisgender, able-bodied and western worker. When analyzing the studies regarding gender relations, however, one perceives their concentration on the dynamics between men and women localized in developed western countries. Transgender persons are persons whose identity and/or gender expression differs from what is socially attributed to their bodies, breaking with the heteronormative logic.


In Brazil, where only the bodies within this discourse are legitimate, this group is systematically excluded from a myriad of spaces including the formal job market. Therefore, the experiences of these people at and with work are invisible to organizational diversity's theory and practice.



To explore this issue, this study analyses the perceptions that the transgender person maintains about their relations:


1. With their professional history


2. With other people in their work environment


3. With organizational policies and practices.


Face-to-face semi-structured interviews were made with six transgender persons that work in organizations. From these narratives, it was found that the person's level of passing usually influences their relations and that the ignorance regarding transgender permeates all three domains of relations.



The Conclusions are:


1. The relations with work are marked by opportunity restrictions


2. The relations in the job hold the person responsible for their own intelligibility and safety


3. The relations with the organization vary according to the way it faces transgenderism and its own voice systems.


Transgenders are “people whose gender identity is different from their assigned gender at birth”. Individuals who identify themselves as transgender usually seek gender reassignment treatments, which may or may not include gender reassignment surgery. Transgender women (or trans women) are people whose body is read as male and whose gender identity is a woman. They usually go through treatments to acquire characteristics typical of the female gender and adopt names, clothes, and mannerisms seen as female. A transgender man (or trans man), in turn, is one whose body is read as female and whose gender identity is a man. They seek to acquire characteristics that are typical of the male gender and use names, clothes, and mannerisms seen as male. When considering their choice of work and hiring and admission processes, the word employed most often by respondents is if they are passable, the degree to which others take a transgender person as cisgender.


In practice, the higher a transgender person is passable, the less likely they are to suffer transphobia: if one's gender expression allows them to be seen by others as cisgender, they will not be subject to the prejudice and discrimination aimed at transgender people, increasing their chances of entering and remaining in the formal labor market. Two aspects affect them being passable: one's name and one's appearance. The ignorance regarding transgender people not only permeates the relations transgender people keep with others in their work environment, but also with the organization itself. The result is that trans phobia creates and maintains difficulties for transgender people in entering and remaining in the formal labor market.

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