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When you’ve finally made peace with your identity and are ready to come out in the open as a trans woman, it’s a special moment of your life. You feel exhilarated and happy. But there still might be certain things bothering you. If you have a female partner who doesn’t know about your real identity, this can become a great source of stress. You have spent a considerable portion of your life with them. So they mean a lot to you. You definitely want to embark on your new journey but you don’t want to hurt them in the process. As a trans woman, you want your female partner to be a part of that journey. While this isn’t easy, it certainly is not impossible.

People who really love us do so unconditionally. It’s not just for looks or not even for our gender. When a relationship reaches a certain point, our partner begins to love us unconditionally. A sudden change in our life path might unnerve them but they will certainly walk with us through thick and thin. At the same time, a lot of understanding is also required on your part as a trans woman that this isn’t easy for your partner. The entire dynamics of your relationship will change. You will still be close but in different ways. So she will take her own time to digest all this. And you need to give her that time and space.

Coming out in the open as a trans woman is not the end of story for your relationship with another woman. Irrespective of whatever circumstances under which that relationship was forged, it has now become an integral part of your life. Your being a trans woman won’t make your love for your girlfriend or wife any less. So it’s important to be honest with them and not hide things. That is the first step towards reinventing your relationship while embracing your identity.

It can all seem baffling. But you can certainly save your relationship with a female partner after you’ve come out as a trans woman. This article tells you a couple of ways in which you can do so.

Give Her Time to Adjust to Your New Reality

You cannot suddenly announce to your woman that you are transgender. You need to do this slowly and gently. You can’t just bombard her with the news on the spur of a moment. You got to prepare the ground first and then slowly break the news. She might just not accept it at first but don’t lose all calm and panic. Give her time and her acceptance will come by.

The point is to be gentle, sensitive, and tactful. Remember it’s not just about you. It’s also about her life. This entails a big change in her personal life as well so she has got every right to take some time and think through things.

You should slowly start sharing your feminine side with her. First, she might feel awkward but then she would get used to it. If she gets upset or mad at your revelation, just don’t bring it up again for some time. Once you feel that she is in a better zone, things can be discussed again.

When you start dating someone, you don’t tell all about yourself in one go. You go step by step. It’s the same with communicating your identity to your wife or girlfriend. You have to work on it over a period of time. It just can’t happen overnight. If you are too hasty and impatient, you might just end up prejudicing them against you forever. And you don’t want that.

Assure Her of Your Love Repeatedly

When you communicate the truth of your identity to your wife or girlfriend, she might just feel betrayed. This is a natural thing to happen. So take time out to appreciate her and tell her how much you love her. This will reassure her of your unwavering commitment and sincerity, no matter what.

Take time out to express gratitude for how she has changed your life for the better. Remember the best of her qualities and remind her of those every now and then. When your partner sees how much you love and adore them, all their fears and insecurities will melt. And they will understand that your relationship is rock solid and nothing can come between the two of you.

Tell her that she will be the first one to know everything that’s happening in your life. There are no secrets between lovers. Assure her of that.

Do Not Freak Out if She Gets Uncomfortable

A relationship is always about two people. You might feel that you are the center of the world and there is nothing greater than your problems or issues. But that’s simply not true. For your wife or girlfriend, her concerns are very important and you have to respect that. Once you’ve communicated to her your identity, she might get uncomfortable around you.

It’s possible that she avoids you, doesn’t want to talk and withdraws into her own space. Do not judge her for that. Focus instead on how to positively deal with the situation. Try getting her involved in activities that the two of you enjoy like playing some sport together or watching a movie. Try to bond with her as usual and things will work out.

Above all, be patient. It’s a big change for her so she will get uncomfortable at times. Understand that and be empathetic.

Start Opening Up to Her Once She Has Fully Accepted You

Once your wife or girlfriend has fully accepted your identity, it’s time to open up about your new self. As a transgender woman, your personal life is going to be a certain way. You want to revel in your feminine side and are perhaps even considering medical treatment to develop the physical characteristics of the female gender. Whatever it is now is the time to start opening up to your partner. Once you feel she has really accepted you for good, start sharing all your deepest desires and plans for the future with her. Share your insecurities and fears too. This would make her feel special and valued as a partner since you are making her a witness to the deepest emotions of your heart.

Maybe, you want to join a transgender dating site and start meeting people. Communicate this to your partner. If she is uncomfortable with the idea, then just drop it for a while. Once you bring it up again, assure her that you are only looking for friendship, that you won’t go for anything sexual.

It’s a tough call. As a transgender woman, you might be tempted to get into a fling with a guy you met through a ts dating app. There is nothing wrong with it if your female partner is open-minded enough to accept this kind of liaison. But if they are not, then you have to observe restraint. At the end of the day, it’s all about your priorities. If saving your relationship is important for you, then you got to keep some boundaries. Communicate your needs and wants to her but also take her feelings into account.

Start Bonding With Her As a Woman

This might be difficult. She started dating you from a heterosexual perspective so she might not even be comfortable with that kind of equation. But if you think she has accepted your identity, there is no harm in trying. Try to develop your mutual chemistry as a woman. Bond with her over girly activities like trying out a new makeup look or hairstyle. Go to the salon together to get yourselves pampered with a manicure, pedicure, or hair spa. Or give each other a relaxing pedicure at home. This is a great way to initiate female bonding.

Go for ingredient shopping together and then try out new homemade skincare routines together. Again, all this is not as easy as it sounds because she is used to looking at you in a different way altogether. So go slow and gentle. But once she starts bonding with you as a woman, a different kind of chemistry will come into play which will be nurturing and therapeutic for your relationship.

Encourage Her to Increase Her Awareness on Trans Issues

Encourage your partner to learn more about transgender individuals. She could go through a transgender blog or read other material available online regarding the transgender community. She could also join a dating site meant for transgender people and communicate with trans individuals.

Once your partner gets to know more about transgender people, her prejudices would automatically meltdown. She would understand and appreciate your struggles better. Your girlfriend or wife would then view everything from the right perspective. She would no longer blame you for keeping her in the dark for long because she now understands that it’s not something in your control.

This is the best way forward for your relationship. Encourage her to understand the issues surrounding trans people and be vocal about these. Once she truly comprehends your life journey, she will support you with all her heart and soul.

If they are socially open about being transgender, they have to limit themselves to places that are not transphobic. And it might be a challenge to find such places in small towns and cities. So trans people are always taking chances. Even at the cost of their safety and security, they sometimes take chances because the urge to feel loved is the same everywhere.

All this makes trans people trying to find love very vulnerable. They are vulnerable to all kinds of abuse and violence. There are probably so many transphobic people lurking out there who harbor not just apathy but plain hatred for trans people. And if a trans person is trying to look for love offline outside the circle of their friends or acquaintances, then they are easily prone to becoming victims of such people.

This article tells you about various ways in which trans people can find love and also overcome the challenges that come with the whole process.

Try to Find Love Online

It’s true that online dating might not work for everyone in the long term. But it’s a good place to start. At least, it’s safe and secure. Once you join a transgender dating site, you can at least chat with as many people you like without having to worry about hatred or abuse. The best part is you don’t have to meet anyone until and unless you want. And if you are just good with talking to people online, so be it. There is no pressure to meet anyone in online transsexual dating.

With conventional offline dating, your options are limited. But with online dating, you can meet a variety of interesting people. This increases the probability of you meeting the right person. The best thing about dating through a site specifically meant for transgender people is that you don’t have to worry so much about the chance of other people not knowing your identity. However, it’s best to be cautious and upfront. Reveal your identity to the person the moment you start communicating with them. You don’t want to waste your time talking to someone over a period of time who would run away the moment they hear you are trans.

Find Love through Friends

This has its pros and cons. The advantages are that you can be surer about the kind of person you would be dating. There would be fewer chances of them being a fraud or transphobic. The disadvantage obviously is that you have fairly limited options to choose from.

But as a transgender person, safety is one of your most important concerns. So from that point of view, dating someone through friends is quite safe. Your best bet would be to go out with someone who is directly known to your friends. That way you can be sure that they cannot harass you or get you into some kind of trouble. Another way to find a date is to obviously go to social gatherings of friends and friends of friends. Now here, you have to use your own judgment. One meets all kinds of people at social gatherings and not all of them will be personally known to your friends. So be a bit cautious and alert.

Ultimately, it’s all about your gut instinct. It’s rather unfortunate that as a trans person, you just have to worry about your safety all the time. Even when you are dating someone, the thing that preoccupies the most is if they will harm you or not. That reflects the sad state of affairs for trans people across the world. But things are changing, albeit slowly.

Stay Away from People who treat You Like Fetish

With trans people, unfortunately, there is a whole army of guys out there who would treat them like a fetish. It is easy to fall into the trap of such people because many a time, they might be the only ones wanting to date a trans person. And they’ll be so forthcoming and all that. You might just end up believing that they’ve fallen in love with you for good. But don’t fall into that trap. These guys are what we ‘chasers’. They are chasing you only because they want to get laid with someone who is a transgender. It sounds blunt but that’s the truth.

If you are just looking for some fun, it might not be that bad an idea. But if you are looking for dating someone, they’ll just end up hurting you. For a chaser, you are only an exotic fetish. They just want to check you out how you look when you guys get physical and then they are probably going to brag about it in front of their friends that I had a great night with a trans woman.

If you are a little bit alert, it’s pretty easy to spot the ‘trans fetish’ guy. He would seem to be so much into you that it would come across as too good to be true. And it will be that only if you take our word.

Always Listen to Your Gut Feeling

Our gut feeling is the voice of intuition. It might seem a bit illogical and superstitious at first but a gut feeling rarely goes wrong. You met someone through a transsexual dating app, it’s all going well and you are planning on meeting them for the first time. If there is a voice in the back of your head that says ‘no, don’t’, then you should listen to that voice.

It’s possible that you are over-thinking but even then, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Never try to negate your own intuition. Intuition will obviously not tell you the reasons behind something right away. But it will definitely give you a hint if the direction in which you are going is not quite right. And you’ll eventually figure out the reasons as well.

Be Safe

Safety is the most important thing. There are many psychos lurking out there whose only intention in life is to probably harm a transgender person. So take all the necessary precautions. If you go out on a date with someone, keep someone close to you informed. Text them the venue address. If possible, ask them to hang out somewhere close to the venue so that they are nearby if you need help.

Never meet anyone at their place for a date, no matter how much they sweet talk you into doing that. If they invite you for some house party or want to meet in some private place, just decline politely but firmly. When you date someone, make it a point to meet them only in public. Only when you are really sure this is getting somewhere for good, should you take it to the next level.

Try to do some investigation from your own end about the kind of person you are dating. One obvious way of doing this is to look for their profile on social media. Check out the information provided by them to see if there is any discrepancy between what they told you and what is out there. If you cannot find them on social media at all, that too is a red flag. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are dodgy but still, you should be on your guard.

Love is the most beautiful feeling of life. True love elevates us to another level. And you don’t deserve to go through hatred and abuse in the process of finding love. So just go slow and gentle and trust your instinct.

Never Lose Hope

As a transgender person trying to find love, it is quite possible that you feel dejected at times and begin to lose hope. But if you stay strong and resilient, you will definitely overcome it. If you have dated a couple of times and it still hasn’t worked out, just take a break and relax. Life is not always about dating. Just go with the flow and meet people. Sometimes, we meet that special person of our life in places and situations we are least expecting to. Dating is not the only way to meet the love of your life. Sometimes, when you just let go of certain things and live life, wonderful things happen.

Concentrate on yourself, your hobbies, and your interests. Redefine your life if you think you’ve gotten stuck into the same old, boring routine for long. Sometimes, things don’t work out because we get trapped in monotony. We don’t realize it at that time. But this monotony goes on circulating sameness and prevents new and exciting things from happening. Break the pattern.

Face Feminization Surgery or FFS for short, is a facial reconstruction procedure used to give a masculine face a more feminine appearance. It encompasses a broad range of systems designed to alter typical male features bringing them closer to a characteristic female feature. Some of the masculine features developed include various bony and soft tissues such as brows, nose, lips, forehead, cheek, and jawline.

Features in the upper third of the face seem to be the most important, and various procedures such as brow lift, rhinoplasty, and cheek implantation are included in face feminization surgery. However, subtle changes in the lips, such as lip augmentation can have a significant effect.

What to Expect in Face Feminization Surgery>>

Facial feminization surgery might include;

    1. Forehead contouring: Bony ridge above women’s eyes socket is less pronounced. The outlines of the forehead tend to be higher, smoother, and more vertical. Part of forehead bone can be cut, removed, reshaped, and fixed back in place to achieve this look.

    2. Eye and lid modification: Here, excess tissues are cut away from the upper eyelids.

    3. Cheek Augmentation: This procedure is done to achieve the prominent round cheeks women have in the middle third of their face. Cheek augmentation can be performed by breaking and moving the cheekbones into a different position. A different way is by taking fat from a separate part of the body and placing it in the cheeks to alter its size and shape.

    4. Nose Reshaping: This procedure involves reducing the size of the nose and its angles for transgender women.

    5. Lip lift and Augmentation: This procedure involves the use of implants to achieve a typical shorter and more curled female lip.

Some other procedures to expect are; Mandibular angle reduction, Genioplasty, Tracheal shave, Lowering the hairline, and Hair transplantation.

Definitive results after this surgery might take up to a year to appear. Face Feminization Surgery can be an essential part of gender transition that can dramatically improve the quality of life in mtfs.

Long hair is one trait generally associated with women and girls. So, if you want to look less feminine you should consider getting a haircut. The right haircut will highlight your face’s bone structure and make you look manlier. For the best haircuts, consult a barber or a hairdresser. These persons are trained in cutting hair and getting a botched haircut from yourself or a friend will make you look untidy or poorly groomed.

Breasts are another trait associated with women and girls. If you want to look less feminine, they will have to go. But remember this is about looking less feminine without getting gender reassignment surgery. One way to reduce the appearance of your breasts is by binding them. There are many methods and tips available online for binding your chest but be careful not to choose any that may be harmful or may cause discomfort.

The right wardrobe can without a doubt make you look less feminine. Please note that this does not mean baggy pants, beanies, and oversized shirts. This simply means choosing the right kinds of clothes. Certain patterns on shirts can accentuate the bulge your breasts make, such as stripes, and should be avoided. Pleated pants and skinny jeans hug your curves and make you look feminine. Avoid those and opt for straight cut pants that will hide your bum and your curves. Trade in those flats and heels for sneakers, boots and male shoes. Accessories such as belts and watches can also make you look more masculine.

To be taken seriously as a man, you must have a bulge. This is the outline of your penis in jeans or shorts. Because you are not getting the surgery, you will have to improvise. Luckily, there are many underpants that come with built-in bulges and are designed specifically for FTM Transgender Men. You don't have to pack every day, but it certainly makes you look much more believable. You will have to decide if you want to hard pack or soft pack but this all depends on your environment. If you have a hard pack everywhere you will look like a pervert. So please bear in mind your surroundings and the  people that will be around you.  

For trans women, looking masculine can really take a toll on mental health and overall happiness. The persons around you may knowingly or unknowingly refer to you as "he" or "him" simply because of the way you look. But a beard, large arms or flat chest doesn't make you any less of a woman than a girl with big boobs and broad hips. For personal reasons, you may opt to not get gender reassignment surgery and that is completely fine. It is your life and you should live it the best way you see fit. Here are a few ways to make yourself look less masculine without getting “the surgery”

Eventually, your next step for legal transition will be to change your gender marker. Now, this part is significantly more difficult and varies wildly from state to state. Some states are relatively simple, while others are a right pain in the butt. For example, I am very privileged to have done all this in Minnesota, which has one of the more trans-friendly laws regarding gender change. For me, I had to consult with a physician about my gender identity and present a document from her verifying that she believes my gender identity to be valid (though ironically, the Judge presiding over my case didn't even ask for it! Don't gamble on that though ), alongside dotting my I's and crossing my t's of course. I got it changed on my social security card, my birth certificate, and my photo ID.

Unfortunately, not every gender change is going to be that simple. A lot of states require that you undergo gender reassignment surgery before you are allowed to change your name, which is both cost-prohibitive for many, but also not something that every trans person wishes to undergo. Some states will also require that your gender change is noted on your birth certificate (mine did not, thankfully). Of course, knowing how the United States can often treat trans people, it should not be surprising at all to find out that a few states are not interested in trans rights beyond seeing the advance of these rights as a threat.

In Kansas, Ohio, and Tennessee, a person cannot change the gender on their birth certificate to match their gender. In all three, however, a person may still change the gender on their driver's license just by having a notice from their physician verifying their gender identity. Kansas has laws that prevent changes to a birth certificate other than minor changes, and Tennessee is the only state to specifically bar trans people from changing their gender marker.

It's not all bad though, because at least driver's license gender change laws are significantly less stringent. Unfortunately, you will still have to deal with some rigmarole depending on your state. Luckily, states generally do not require SRS in order to get the gender marker changed on your driver's license, meaning that you will still be able to present as your gender in public if you can't change it on your birth certificate. The conflict with states not allowing birth certificate changes can present complications, however; for instance, if you were born in Ohio and moved to Kentucky, Kentucky law requires that your driver's license's marker match your birth certificate's.

While we are admittedly in a bit of a sour spot in history for trans people with the election of Donald Trump to the presidency and setbacks on trans rights, trans people have seen many legal victories in recent years. For example, before April of this year, Idaho was alongside Kansas, Ohio, and Tennessee in denying trans people the right to change their gender marker on their birth certificate. However, a subsequent lawsuit and decision by an Idaho District Court Judge resulted in Idaho law being changed to the effect that trans people's request to change their gender marker is not automatically denied anymore. Not only that, but SRS is not required, and neither is a notation of the gender having been changed. There are lawsuits against other such laws, including Ohio, so we may well see laws relaxed.

Because of the complexity of laws regarding changing your gender, such an article cannot and should not be used as your sole source of information. In order to get a proper understanding of your state's laws, check out here... Changing Birth Certificate Gender Designations: State-By-State Guidelines.

Dating a trans woman is not easy but it is one of the most exciting things you can do. Transgender dating became a lot more popular in the past years and you should definitely jump in this boat if you want to learn more about the rules of dating a trans woman and develop yourself. If you have an account on a trans dating website, such as the MTF dating site, you will have to get the courage to actually get together with your match.

Dating a trans woman will bring you new romantic experiences that you will never forget. It will help you rediscover new levels of passion and gain more confidence in yourself. Ultimately, such a relationship will bring you happiness and stability so you should give it a fair try. Jumping in the field of trans dating means that you are opened to learn new things about love and women. So that will enrich your experience but also your capacity of understanding your partner much better.

Rules of Dating a Trans Woman

Dating a transgender woman is one of the most intense experiences you can have in your love life. Trans people are very much in touch with their desirability and they are well aware of their worth. You will have to follow certain ethical rules when you are thinking to date and start a love relationship with such a complex woman. Here are some tips that will help you be successful in your relationship!

Being interested in a genuine way in your trans lady is always the key to your successful relationship. Try to discover them every time you talk or interact and appreciate who they really are.

Be Confident

You have to trust yourself that you are good enough in order to help your lover trust you. Know your qualities and don’t be shy in expressing them.

Remain Honest Under All Circumstances

You should always stay honest when you talk to a transgender woman. On the MTF dating site, honesty is one of the most important aspects. It is also what brings and keeps couples together.

These top rules of dating a trans woman will help you not only meet the right trans woman but also keep her in your life. And finally, dating a transgender woman will make you more aware of what you have to offer to your lover and what you expect from them. Go beyond your limits and find your lover today!